It is a Wednesday. A freakingly tired Wednesday. I don't know if its the contact lens, the air con or the person (which is me) I feel SUPER TIRED. Even though I have slept like 6 hours every night. Am I gonna die.

This week of work has been especially boring. I think because it is that I have no idea where to start from. There are so many work to be done. I tried all sorts of way to stay awake but to no avail. I was supposed to create a self guide handbook for this exhibition in the museum. The thing is I don't freaking understand!!!!! Grr. I spent like almost an hour on it. But instead of using plain words, he used difficult words which IRRITATES me. RAH ok I am complaining. There, I said it.

I sincerely hope tomorrow is going to be a better day for me cause THIS IS KILLING ME AND WASTING MY LIFE. Hahahaha ok I have no idea why am I so angst. Just needed to be. Haha.

I wished I can say work was fun, enriching and I've learnt a lot of things. Truth to be told, things are an infinitely times harder when you have to learn it on your own. I am so terribly grateful for my lecturers, teachers and everyone else who have taught me. I cannot be an independent learner. I suck shit.

Guess I have to try harder tomorrow then. I hope to be extraordinary one day :)

How optimistic.

For work to end right NOW,

I am supposed to write a Museum blog entry for the Museum which I am interning at right now. So I figured if I blogged at least twice a week now I would be able to remember the stuffs that I did at the end of the month. My entry is only needed one per month. 


This marks the end of the first week at this very cool Museum and I must say I had honestly expecting more than this. It does not mean that it is a bad thing but probably because I have higher expectations. As an internship I expected to do things such as planning, being involved in projects and am probably needed in many other areas (that's why they need an intern ain't it?) However, I am pretty sure that most of the things are new to me. Hence I am not able to help out much, in some sense. Though I am assigned with one project, that is not on top of the priority list now. Haha.


What I wished that I have done better at work was to learn and understand the exhibitions even more. I think I will need to walk through all three floors of gallery once again. It is pretty tough for me to grasp the main theme of the exhibitions as I am not from a particularly strong background of The Arts. Many a times I read the news letters, publications about the exhibitions and it often landed me in the realms of confusion and convulsion. Due to the fact of a lack of understanding as well as my personal lack of vocabulary strength, I am indeed having slight difficulty understanding exactly what I am working for.


I guess in time to come things will get better (like everyone always say and like how it always is true; so sickening) and also I will be of greater use to the Museum. :)


On a side note, I am going for a movie tonight with my JC classmates. Haha it ain't easy that we finally planned something. With much effort, it came to realization. I guess also, sometimes timing needs to be coupled with effort. As with everything else in life, timing really counts because time is needed in order for things to happen. 


For the little blue berries in my cereal

Ok so P and I went Batam. Haha I don't think I'm going to nag about how it was. So I decided to let the pictures speak for themselves. :) Just a couple of significant ones which I managed to take without getting engrossed into the trip. Haha.


The above is one of the nicest Kueh Lapis I have tried. But obviously they have added a lot of fattening butter that's why it is SO DELICIOUS!



The ship just reminds me of Titanic. Call me innocent or naive but I really want to experience the life of a Sailor after watching Battleship. Not to mention the hot guy lead in the show, I am also very much attracted by the idea of travelling and able to work with a great group of Ship Crew. Lol and alsoooo the awesome sun rise and sun set which I will be able to catch everyday without fail. :D

Sadly or not, it was a 2 day trip. Started work today rough as it was raining in the morning and I wore this new pair of pumps to work. And then when I reached the office I realised I have a blister one on each foot and both were bleeding.

Work was OK, I was really impressed by the work of the conservation "people" though. They have like these cool workshops to themselves with shelves after shelves of paint, lacquer, brushes, rulers, cutters, and whatever else that made it looked like a little Art Friend there. Basically they restore paintings and frame them whenever they are spoilt etc. The workshop looked kinda like the one in The Vow where Rachel McAdams did her art. They also have like the radio playing in the background, turning up the atmosphere to the optimum level for some artsy fartsy work. Very hard to imagine something like that surviving in the Singapore economy huh. They are called sole proprieties. Having their own business in the arts scene.

Yes I admit I did imagined myself in their position, doing all sorts of crazy things with the materials that was in the workshop. "Unrealistic and impractical" my parents would say. Sheesh.



For the start of Summer

Went back to AJ today with Lynette and Jovita for lunch. We met up at Lyn's house to study, though it was nothing close to productivity. It didn't matter to me at all. I miss the girls and their company. It is the first that I have been to Lyn's house since she moved out of Castle Green. Her house was very stylish and modern, set up exactly like her old house. Haha I have to say I feel comfortable at her house cause everything is still familiar in some way, like where her rooms were etc.


Going back to AJ was fun, we managed to sneak in with our PE tee shirts on. Apparently we still looked like students. It was a mistake to go back to AJ anyways. We went back to have lunch and Lyn can have her favorite chicken mayo sandwich from the Cafe. And managed to tour the school after.


It is a mistake because the memories are still fresh. It is as though I was just in school the day before. Barely nothing changed at all. I can vividly remember the feelings which I had in every corner of the room. What happened 3 years ago, what I wore, what I said, what I did and most importantly, what I felt. Everything. It brought back very fond memories of my class and ODAC. After everything else, I have learnt that everything that mattered back then, still matters to me right now. Unlike what I experienced in university, it is different. AJ was like 2 years worth of fruitful ups and downs. Friends. Love. Laughter.


Definitely looking back was easier than being the student who actually had A levels to prepare for. I didn't cherish the moments enough. Never did, never will.


One place in AJ, I missed a lot was the umbrella area. Where ODACians will gather in the morning before assembly, where we plotted all our retarded and meticulous act. Urgh I am so angry at myself for going back cause I am so very ABSOLUTELY tied to those memories right now. I think I will need a whole lot of distractions to move along again. Damn me.






So I'll make sure I keep my distance.
For him,

Here's another awesome song, this song reminds me of an old school song. I forgot its name but its genre and style sure sound very familiar.

TIME PASS FASTER PLS.

Gives me goosebumps, I must say this is a good song. :)

I hate how Power 98 stop playing emo, lovesick songs on Sunday nights, 9pm-12am. It used to be the time of the week that I enjoy mugging the most because these lovesick, old school songs make me feel very safe and calm, like I am able to handle the work with less stress. Now they've replaced it with songs that are trending, something like a 987 FM. So I had to rely on my own playlist of emo, love sick songs to get me through these nights when I am feeling, emo and love sick.

The party at ZX's really made me think a lot, like how we used to be and how everyone has changed. The moment I felt most strongly was when we were doing the Gandu-ZX Banja, it really brought back memories with ODAC. It was only at that point of time that made me think, maybe we've not changed at all. Wee Siong kept talking about growing up and becoming more sensible and matured I guess but I don't really want it to be. I cannot imagine a Wee Siong who is sensible ALL THE TIME (really no offense) and I cannot imagine a Siaw Hui/ Bing Hong/Ming Han that is any less retarded than how I remember them as.

That makes me a very selfish person I know but I cannot express how much I am used to them, being them. The feeling that I get when I am with ODAC is very unique, entirely irreplaceable. It gives me adrenaline, excitement and security that I am with a bunch of friends who know me and are as retarded as I remember them to be. And I like it this way.

Honestly when I was taking Wee Siong's car, I did not feel scared at all. Nor was I even the least worried, though I may have appeared to be, to play along. This kind of security, I have never felt before. Not with P. It probably is more of a familiarity-kind-of-security than a romantic-kind. Somehow I prefer the former.

Two regrets remain etched in my memory. I don't think we would be the same kind of friends as before. That saddens me really but I know you are the kind of person that moves on very easily, unlike me. You introduced me the song "Go" by Boys Like Girls. It gave me the courage to move on without you, at all. I was very reluctant to move on, but I did. But every now and then, I take some time off to think about the times when we were bros. True bros.

I have been thinking about ODAC these few days, what everyone is doing. And I really hope to get together with them some other day to sing karaoke or something. Anything. :)



For Friends with love.