Total Eclipse of the Heart

Grand Gestures

2012-02-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Oh my Gosh. Why is it so frustrating to watch Gossip Girl?! Why why why cant Chuck be with Blair forever happily ever after? Urgh. I hate it that they are not together for stupid reasons. Haha ok Im just an overly engrossed fan of the show. I love Chuck so much for his character but then again its merely a show, no less than an inaccurate reflection of reality.

Chuck was talking about grand gestures. Ones that you would be embarrassed about doing it or perhaps afraid to know how others may react but you know that you have to do it lest you would have to live to only regret. Personally I have not done any grand gestures I suppose. I don't even dare to confess to my crush whom I have liked for many many months. And he had to dig the information out of me. What the hell.

There is possibly one event which I can quote. I think I am like Chuck at a certain point in my life. One who wishes for the person he loves to be happy, and would do anything for that special someone. However grand the gesture was, what comes after is the consequence that I had to face for the rest of my life. That, that special someone will never ever reciprocate my feelings in return. Well, depressing I know but at least I can say I have not let myself down. And he will always remain as someone special, in a different way. :)

For Chuck Bass.

Resolutions

2012-01-21T06:22:00.000-08:00

Chinese New Year is round the corner! With 2 days apart, I would like to list down my Chinese New Year resolutions and am determined to fulfill them.

1) To not sleep in lectures ever again, buy coffee, pinch yourself, eat many sweets, do anything but to fall asleep ever again.

2) To be a better daughter. I dont know how would you define 'better', but to me I would just try to put in more effort to spend quality time with my family. And whenever a conflict arise, the bestest that I can do is to shut my mouth up.

3) To put in my best for every Canoe Polo trainings. Nothing more to add.

4) To not be the unreasonable one in the relationship. I havent been such a perfect gf. I will try to not be so unreasonable. And not think so much.

5) To study as hard as last semester and NEVER to lose hope. As the semester just began, I have began to lose faith as the modules are dry and I dont really have much of a group-mate-choice for 2 of my modules for projects. God please bless me.

Alright, I have listed 5 resolutions. I would think that this is tough enough for the year. Very tough. But nonetheless, I will try my best cause I dont want my family, bf or teammates, coach to lose faith in me. Turning 21 this year made me realised that I have grown up. An adult, no more I do this cause I feel like doing so anymore. This realization may have come late, but as the saying goes, better late than never. :)

Happy Chinese New Year to all.

For the fire crackers and the red stuffs.

2012-01-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

Have been browsing through Facebook and got reminded of the times I had in Junior College. Hahaha thought of all the weird, happy, unhappy and exciting things that happened. Things which affected me so so soso much then seem so insignificant upon reflection. It is as though those things didnt happen at all. Lol funny how life is made up of ups and downs. Cant help but to imagine if I were to look back to this very moment maybe sometime in 2015, what would be the moments that I miss. Will Facebook still be the in-thing? Or will it de-popularize like Friendster? Hahaha these random thoughts must have been occuring cause I am actually quite free now. School has just started for me and everything is still quite relax.

2012 has been a sucky year so far. I really hope things will change for the better, in all aspects. Really. Hopefully more luck will go to my family after ushering in Chinese New Year & attending all the weddings to come. Hahaha and I hope I would study even harder. Yes I am a Nerd. Whatever. :)

For all things new and bountiful. :D

I am in Misery

2011-12-01T03:53:00.001-08:00

Today sucked big time. A super lousy day that drove me to the depths of depression and the worse thing is it was for the stupidest and most irrational reason ever. I feel like giving myself a tight slap for doing that and for being so childish. But I cant help it. GRRRRRRR. Ok I shall not be a baby and whine over it. Running should do the airing for me. Run it allllllllll out.

I hate myself :(

For a Frown,

2011-11-30T09:25:00.001-08:00

Holidays are getting unproductive for me. Watching videos, eating, training for Stand Chart run, playing The Sims 2 and accompanying my boyfriend :) Soon training for Canoe Polo will be starting soon. Ahhhhh~ I really hope that I can get used to training again like I did. Stand Chart in 3 days. THREE DAYS. Omg I totally dont know what to expect. I just gotta pray that P and I can complete it in two whole pieces. :D

Attempted to cook green bean soup today but I think it kinda failed. Hahaha I think I added too much sago and too little water until it became like niam niam one. Haha was kinda disappointed when I saw it. But it tasted not bad!!! I can promise!!! Hahaha shall attempt other kinds of desserts soon, like barley, agar agar etc. :)

P will end his exams tmr. Hopes his mood will get better after. Things must be going on so tough on him but yet there is so little things I can do because he doesn't like people "consoling" him. -.- Makes me so frustrated and vexed sometimes. :/

For First Times.

To Dust and Earth

2011-11-27T04:48:00.001-08:00

I have this realization that maybe after all we're not that strong. As precious as life is, death is imminent. Despite the existence of doctors and all those chemicals which we hope would possibly heal all of our ailments, i guess there comes a point in time when even the body wants to give up trying cause it hurts too much. So much that maybe they are already dead on the inside.

For those left behind, they can cry their hearts out. They can blame every single other person, especially themselves for not appreciating the already gone til it was too late. And then they would muster all of their strength to take in the fact and rationalize themselves. Trying very hard to convince themselves that it is part and parcel of life and that the doctors have already done everything they could. There was nothing they could have done except to feel the heart cringe every single time they think of it.

Honestly I have only experienced the pain of losing my loved ones twice. Both whom i cannot say i am very close to. Each time my father would say 生老病死，是人生的一部份。没有she么好伤心的。I took his words to heart, and manage to convince myself that it is not much of a big deal. But yes, I am sad that death happened.

Until now, today, when a tragic incident happened to a friend of mine, I thought to myself, would I still be so indifferent if it were my parents? I wouldn't need to answer that question. And yet, I do not know what to do to comfort my friend. Maybe crying a bucket full of tears would ease my guilt for not consoling him cause i suck at it so much that i may sound hypocritical.

For Life, and Death.

And I know he will love you for a thousand years.

Can't wait

2011-11-22T09:17:00.000-08:00

Glee is getting me hooked to it. Omg what a time, during this critical period. I have already downloaded Season 2. I CANT WAIT TO WATCH IT! Haha, first paper wasn't fantastic but I hope I can scrap off with a B- at least. I can't afford another C+.

Hope P will get better soon, think this sore throat thing has got stuck onto him.

For Glee.

Slack and Stress

2011-11-20T00:20:00.000-08:00

Dear blog,

Currently having my exams now and have decided to revive this blog. What an unsuitable time right i know. I should be studying. Haha I have been rather indifferent lately. Havent been too happy or too sad. I think it could be the exams and all the studying. Things have been going on rather well, considering I am starting to like my CCA more and more. :) I think its good, I am finally settling down peacefully.

After exams plans are still a blur. I doubt i can do much within the almost non-existence holiday. Most importantly i hope i can catch up with my friends. Old and new. :)

Alright I guess its time for me to go back to my heap of notes and stop slacking since my exam is on erm... OH TOMORROW. Hahaha til then!

For Freedom.

2011-10-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

I must have been crazy. But seriously, if given the chance I would want to venture. Probably its cause of its novelty and craziness that made me wanna try it. Thinking about it day and night. :)

2011-09-25T02:33:00.001-07:00

I do not know why but I have this strong feeling that something very bad is going to happen to me. And I would not have any one to depend on but myself. I really do not wish to face this but my gut feeling is just too strong :(

Til then, I really hope I have the strength to carry on. No matter what happens, I hope I can remember that it is not the worst. And that there are many other more beautiful things to treasure in life. Like friendships. The rest does not matter for I will have the ability to overcome it, once again, like old times.

Heart,

Me.

Remember Me

2011-07-24T00:59:00.001-07:00

Just finished watching this movie, Remember Me. I have always wanted to watch this show but did not managed to catch it in the threatres in time. Probably cause it was screened during some exam period. Hahaha and most of my friends werent interested because they felt that Rob Pat was a bad actor after their experiences with the Twilight series. Lol i guess it kind of made me doubt the quality of this show but I knew the plot was interesting so my interest remained.

Well its mainly a guy who has some sort of father issues. And then he met this sweet girl from the same University they studied at. The part which i found most intriguing is that the guy, despite his "wicked" character, due to his frequent participation in fights and his smoking habit, he has a rather good nature. Especially when it comes to family, he prioritises them over anything else. Sweet. The ending was tragic but nonetheless, i learnt some valuable things from the show.

There is this quote that was frequently brought up:

the things you do may be insignificant but it is important that you do it.

Or something like that. Haha anyhow it taught me the importance of love and family. :)

Hey Soul Sister

2011-07-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hello,

What a long break from blogging I have had. Hmmm life has not been any better or worse to me. I have been doing some thinking these days and I have no idea why but all I have were dissatisfaction with my love. Are my expectations of him too high? I have no idea.

Though I know at some point of time, the sweetness will fade and reality will set into place. Just like that, nicely fitted into the gap that probably will inevitably be formed. I dont know if taking each other for granted has any place in this equation but the difference is appalling.

As much as I understand the natural order of relationships, I really wish it will not happen to us. As hard as possible. But somehow it seems very hard with only one side of the equation working. Damn it you. I also dont know if these things mean that you have alrdy started to love me a little lesser, with the first candles I blew today, I sincerely alrdy wished that ________________ .

Please dont let me down. As much as understanding can play, there is only so much it can offer. Love is selfish. Forgive me for saying this.

And I think this is the point of time when you start to think that maybe he would be happier with another girl. Hahaha.

Happy 8 btw. ^^

I think I will be fine eventually.

2011-05-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

Days without work are unimaginably boring and unproductive. Though I like to slack but I don't like to slack sooo much. Staying at home with nothing to do is like having a coffee shop but with no customers at all. I feel so prepared to work and yet there is nothing that I can do but to sit around and hit flies.

Btw, The Notebook is one movie for those hopeless romantics out there. Rachel Adams is damn pretty and the story is very sweet. Very much like those fairy tales but screened in human form. Hahaha :D

2011-05-17T00:25:00.001-07:00

Haha!! Was watching G Force and the baby mole was too cute to be ignored!!! Woohooooo~

2011-05-16T22:16:00.000-07:00

Haha chinchilla madness!!! :D Cute at times, its quite a pity that it doesnt make any cute sound. Like mao~ XD

Haha P got me 2 angry birds! Very cute and I loveee them!! :)

Hmm P has started work this week, left me feeling very depressed and lonely. Ah well, guess I just have to suck it up. I really hope I can get a job soon so that it wouldnt be so boring. Life without school and work is seriously boring. At home with nothing to do. Occasional CCA and tuition ain't filling the gaps up enough. Yup just hope hard that I can get a job soooon!

Watching G force now :D Ciao!

2011-05-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

And yes, I was jealous when I heard TH say "Saturdays are reserved for girlfriend" cause it made me thought of you.

2011-05-14T05:06:00.000-07:00

I just realised I can't really stare at old people for too long a time. For fear that one day I will become like them. I am afraid of growing old and at the end, achieving nothing that I wanted for myself and end up like a lonely soul with no purpose in life. That is scary to me.

I know its inevitable but whenever I see these elderly on the mrt, they all seem so lost, hopeless and unmotivated in life. Gah the harsh reality of life.

It's never the same

2011-05-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hi, exams are over.

Hmm..

Ok, haha i hate it whens it again weird now that theres nothing to do. I could probably blog more often now. Awesome.

I really like you but some how I feel that there will be major conflicts in opinions in the future. You know how stressed everytime I am when I go shopping with you? It feels so bad that I don't have the mood to shop. I really hope you know that I am absolutely, a hundred and one percent, not the feminine kind of girl to begin with.

What low cut pink dresses? With lace? I know they look pretty. Pretty on other girls. Seriously? EVERYONE who knows me well enough, knows that I am not that kind of girl. So please STOP having such expectations of me. As much as I would very much like to conform to social norms (not saying every girl that wears pink and lace is-its just a generalization), I can't. I'm sorry but I can not do it. I have tried to change as much as I can, and THIS IS IT. The furthest I can go, any more changes, I would probably lose myself. And I don't want that to happen. But I really like you. Tell me what should I do now.

Lily in How I Met Your Mother defined love as: the strongest desire to - hear the person's voice, see the person, smell the person, touch the person, to listen to what he/she has to say about his/her very ordinary day.

You know, I really wish, we could.

Truthful Not

2011-04-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well, we finally talked about going for exchange programmes. He wants to go for local exchange programme. Like at NTU. I guess I am okay with it, right now. Okay it is not like he will change his mind even I said no. What was I thinking? I actually thought that he would or might change his mind if I really am uncomfortable with the idea. :(((

And then when I mentioned about me going for overseas SEP, he didnt even have any major rejections or something. GAH i really hate this imbalance. HATE IT. Hate myself for being like this.

You know, I was watching How I Met Your Mother. There is this episode which I thought was very meaningful. Though this serial drama is meant to a comedy, but it brought me to realization that maybe getting married is not what I ultimately want in my life. Lily had her doubts about getting married after being with Marshall for NINE YEARS can you imagine. Because she wanted to realize her life dream of becoming an artist and living the life she yearned for when she was young.

I dont want to be like Lily to only come to this realization after being engaged and at the very last moment, having second thoughts about getting married. Come to the thought of it, all my life dreams.. of travelling around the world and exploring the Great Barrier Reef, and living in a village, growing old in a Temple.. All these experiences would be amazing. Maybe I should really think twice before having ideas about marriage. The tradeoffs, and possibly the "eternal happiness" that me and my partner are supposed to have?

Btw, I really don't believe in forever more anymore. Sad I know :(

Hungry and Mad

2011-04-19T04:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.strictlypancakes.com.sg/golden_rules.html

Omg you should seriously see the pancakes they sell at this awesome little place near Dhoby Ghaut. JUST by the looks of it, I am already melting for it. Dying to savour the soft and fluffy pancakes in my mouth. Whats more? They have exotic toppings and other savoury foodstuffs to go with the pancakes. Lets see, for example, CHEESE AND POTATO? O. M. G.

MUST TRY!!!

Okay I sound like I just did a free advert for the pancake shop but really, what looks good, MUST TASTE GOOD TOO. Same for people, right right right? :D

Haha back to my mundane life which isnt so mundane with the help of A CHILDISH LITTLE PERSON. I hate being defamed. Now I understand how do people feel when they spread rumours which is not true AT ALL? Hmm I know I have to get it over with cause it is not worth the brain space. But I really really really hope that HE will stop spreading such unhealthy stuffs. No matter what, dude, everyone HAS to grow up and suck it up. Please do too. Tyvm.

Was just a little disappointed for not staying back in school to study til late. Ah its alright what harm can a little compromise do? :) Shall attempt to study at home tonight. Oh HI IM BLOGGING. Shit!!!

Gotta go!! XP

2011-04-17T07:25:00.000-07:00

This is the Android application that P's phone has. He made this of me! Woohoo~ Haha very sweet right~ BUT I made him first ok. Muahaha I must claim the first move. :D

Haha woke up to a Sunny Sunday today!

I was attempting to study but the Sun was shining directly onto my studying spot!! So studying was not productive at all in the morning. Plus I wanted to wake up earlier to mug, end up waking up at TEN O CLOCK. Omg I should really stop slacking. XP

Today was boring, home ALL DAY. -.- Well, I guess at least I had fun yesterday with P. Hehe.

I was wondering about some stuffs, but I stopped wondering lest I become paranoid again. Sheesh. And I am uber tempted to eat the soft bake cookies. Should I? Just afraid my sore throat would come haunting me again. Ah well.

2011-04-16T09:20:00.000-07:00

:D today is a rather fulfilling day. Though yesterday sucked so much cause I didnt even knew P was angry at me. LOL. Ok hope he doesnt see this forever :X

Right back to today, kinda like the start of The Shit Week. Ok more than shit, the ultimate diarrhoea one thousand times also not enough week. It is Reading Week. Sounds harmless yeah?

It is LETHAL. Possibly able to take your life away in just short period of SEVEN DAYS.

Ok drama fail. Hahaha I have absolutely no idea why the hell am I so happy when its already reading week. In short, reading week is the week before the final exams at my school. Yeah it is the DO or DIE week. Everyone's mugging very hard right now I dont know why am I still blogging and am so happy. Haha partly cause I had a fulfilling mugging session earlier on?MUAHAHAHA ok I am not a mugger.

Fine, I am. Enough about crap. Things I have prepared for reading week are as follow and you would understand how tight the situation is right now:

Red Bull, Soft-baked cookies, Seaweed Potato Chips, Bee Bee Snack, TONS of coffee and not forgetting my nice jar of Nutella :)

The number of comfort food I need during this SHIT PERIOD is unimaginable. WORSE OF ALL SHIT, I am ill. I can't even eat these stuffs when they are like, JUST RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Grrrr.

I have to recover soon before these things go to waste. Alrighty, to the crap week ahead then!!

2011-04-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

Omg something freaky, I just realised I have come back to this blog EXACTLY (alright ALMOST) ONE year after I have gone over to Tumblr. What coincidence. O.O

2011-04-15T11:05:00.000-07:00

First post of the revival and I am sooo gonna swear. Fuck no, cramps. Stay out of my bloody way at 2.06am. I freaking want to sleep for goodness's sake. Grr, don't blame me, its the hormones :)

2010-04-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

http://cheesysnail.tumblr.com

For myself, for you.

Intelligentos

2010-03-25T00:25:00.001-07:00

I dont think that I am supposed to care about what others think of me, say of me whatever. Unless they matter a lot to me. They should know that they do.

Realized that thinking too much aint very healthy for me. I should quit doing that. Its giving me the headspins and I appear so darn serious and goofy.

Work is boring, told my bozz I am quitting in end May. Quick come May! Hahaha XD
My colleagues are nice and admirable. She knows Japanese, French, Vietnamese, English and Chinese; so darn proficient at all 8) He knows Japanese, Chinese and English. He has FREAKING FIVE DEGREES 8D

Right, I have 300 degrees on my left and right eye plus Astig. -.- Hahahah okay, I am officially stupid at my workplace. Ugh. Hahaha.

I want to study! :D

I feel so, numbed in my life. Thats bad; I need something exciting. Hahaha 8D

______________________________Edited_____________________________

OMG I MUST WATCH SHUTTER ISLAND IF NOT I'LL DIE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYVrHkYoY80

2010-03-20T01:09:00.001-07:00

"I aint gotta do a lot of flexes
Cause Shorty you already know what it is
And girl tonight we are gonna do a lot of sexin'
Can't nobody do your body like this"
-Daddy's Home by Usher
Is this song hot or what. 8)

I like you, and you, and you.

2010-03-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Went to NUS open house today. Wasnt a very fulfilling experience. Haha it was supposed to clear my doubts and make me even more sure about what I would wanna take during my university years. But it seems like today's trip just clouded my vision even more. Screw it.

I think I might take the course that I told myself that I will never ever take it again. I think its stupid. I've told myself that I will never ever take it again after O levels and I took it again in JC. After A levels I told myself the exact same thing. But then again, looks like fate has left me with no choice. How ironic, I was supposed to have many choices. My career path might be unattractive to many but I really want my future to be this way ever since I knew what could just be the right Money Making Machine for me. Sheesh.

Whatever it is, I am gonna tell myself that it will not; never be the wrong choice for me because aint choices about giving up the one that has less benefits for you in the long run? Haha "long run", given that I am able to continue breathing without getting choked up by words and stacks of readings; without getting twirled into the bloofers of the world of academia.

On a side note, I am glad this weekend for having bought a new computer and camera. Hahaha great, now I can only be satisfied by materialistic wants. Hello! Something is seriously wrong over here. Hahaha I am also happy to have gone to the openhouse with class girls today. They rock! Though most of us ended up very sian; extremely lethargic. XD photos are as above :D

I think, school would be different without you girls. I love you all. :D

Beautiful girls, all over the world.

2010-03-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

Haha this one above is my favourite of the lot. I think this is what they really call "natural beauty"!

I think Emma Watsons looks a little more matured here with the makeup on, right? Hahaha.

Definitely, not forgetting Kristen Stewart. A pair of amazing eyes, I must say.

Taylor Swift, I think shes really pretty. I cant exactly explain why but I just find her damn attractive. I think its her eyes too. The way she uses it to look at you. Nice :)

Hahaha of course, I got these pictures from Google images. Just another boring night. Decided to find my definition of Beauty. Guess I have found it right here :) These are just my opinion of pretty celebs. Like what some guys might say,"damn chio ah!" or "damn swee!" Hahaha yeah. Attraction takes place superficially. Definitely, the first thing that the human eyes set upon another being would be its outer shell. And then comes the judgement. Followed by the kind of feeling, e.g. good feelings or bad feelings toward he/she.

I told MD today that I wanna tell BL that I liked him for ages if I get straight As, of course jokingly, knowing that that will never happen and even if it does, I would probably commit suicide immediately afterwards. MD actually laughed at the idea. I didnt mind it cause I know it would be a joke too. And then he said,"HAHAHAHAHA IF BL HEARS IT, HE'LL PROBABLY PUKE ON HIS RESULTS SLIP OR STH" I know I shouldnt be offended cause I should have seen it coming. But somehow, I was. More of hurt and disappointed than anything else. Maybe its cause I am quite emotional these days due to hormones' reaction. I know I seriously suck. I do not need another confirmation from someone who was supposedly "on my side". Geez I think I am really childish and I should seriously just snap out of it and accept the fact.

The fact, that tmr is results day isnt making things better. Nothing is. It seems like the end of the nights tonight. Worst night ever had in the past few weeks. I think its coming, thats why. Hahahaha. XD

Moral of the story, I think I might just need a knife and some plastic to set my smile right.

Yeah I sure do. Umm. And no, this isnt supposed to be a complain and whiney post. Was it? Hahaha I think I sure still have the liberty to do so, right? Whatever.

Ciao! XD

I need a run, from this frigging plastic town.

I saw the little things that made you beautiful to me.

2010-03-01T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hello :D

It has been what seemed ages since I last blogged. It really seems like my life is freaking boring huh. Not entirely. I went Bangkok. For 4 whole days of shopping. Hahaha doesnt seem what I would really suggest to do during a Holiday, but in the end, I kinda enjoyed it. Especially the part when you can buy real cheap and nice stuffs for your friends and family, knowing that they would be really happy when they receive such stuffs :D I like that kind of feeling. Doesnt make my effort in choosing and finding the present, sort of worthless. Hahaha. XD

Went to visit Know and her family as well. They were really really really really really damn nice. No number of "really" would truly express how nice they were to us. They cooked 2 dinners for us and both meals had like 4 dishes, rice, dessert, drinks and fruits. I think it must be tiring for the mom since she is working as well. But Know said her mom liked cooking and stuff. So yeah. :/ I still feel tiring for her. Haha I think her mom really rock. Her dad and uncle also, they brought us around. Sometimes, even accompanied us to shop the entire day, taking into account how much guys dislike shopping, I think its an incredible feat. Pictures are all with nette, think she'll upload it soon, i think. Hahaha it was nice though. I love my classmates and the entire trip. Thank you Know, Lynette, Yingrong and Jovita, really :D

Am reading Eclipse now, think I am doing so at a speed which I seldom do. Think its most probably because of how the author writes the book. Its simple to understand, yet the words which she used, put together, express so much more beyond their literal meanings. Its cool. Like the love triangle that Bella is in now. And I really like the trust that Edward has in Bella. When he said something like, "if you think you can trust werewolves, then I trust your judgement" to Bella. I think its easier said than done. Trusting someone's judgement entirely. I think trust is really important. Probably the only factor that makes the relationship between a couple (or anything more than "Just Friends") just a little more special and valuable than the relationship between neutral friends. I think thats the reason why I cherish my More-Than-Friends Friends so much :)

I am missing my brother again.

And the most dreaded thing is gonna happen this Friday. Yup, actually, thinking of it. Whatever. I've tried my best and done whatever I could have done. Screw it no more. My colleague was trying to counsel me. Hahaha she said even if I do badly, theres nothing to worry about cuz its only a point in your entire life. Just A Pathetic Little Point In My Life = A Levels results. Thats a cool way of thinking. It doesnt really matter THAT MUCH relative to whats gonna happen in my life, right. Its all in the mind. And I think I am not that good at it.

BAH WHATEVER. See you soon. :D

Cause you are the only exception,

fmfly a little lesser.

You are a pleasure to the eyes.

2010-02-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

Haha was looking through photobucket, its like this website that has cool pictures which have been edited by people. Hence, the artistic feel to it. Likey the picture above cause it has a bike in it XD Always wanted to ride a bike. Really. For the thrill of it, whatever. Though my parents would never ever allow me to ride, I swear, I'd give it a go definitely in the future. Its one of my must-dos in life. :) I think I just like fast, thrilling, life-threatening situations. Its only when I'm in situations like those that I feel I'm alive, and not numb by whatsoever unimportant tingles. :D Just like during Kota Kinabalu, a few of us accidentally fell into the water at the rapids. I think I went underneath the raft and, I really thought I was going to die. Until I fought to surface and to breathe again, then I rmbed: Hey, I'm actually alive. Hahaha stupid as it seems, it is actually very fun :)

The next picture I really liked is this one :) Sweet huh. I think a hug speak a thousand more words than any other acts of love and sweet-nothings. And somehow, to me at least, the happiest moment a couple would have is the company that couples enjoy during a sunset or sunrise. :D Just the company. The feeling of knowing that each other is truly happy to be with the other party at that point of time, taking in such a natural and breathtaking view :) No words would need to be spoken. None needs to think of what to say next to feel in the blank, because its each other's company they enjoy. That, is what I call, true love. ;D

Haha there are other nice pictures I have found at photobucket. Quite cool, shall continue exploring it XD to kop nice pictures until I get my camera back!! (which is still in the hands of my brother in Sweden -_-)

fmfly.

Backache is killing me.

Oh, should I get a new hamster? :D

New skin just cause im feeling bored. XD

2010-02-07T08:56:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Hahaha kinda excited. Cause of my new blogskin. NICE RIGHT! WHEEEEE :D Tmr's monday means its working day. Next week is BUSY WEEK. Haha. Okay, gotta sleepo now! Bye peeps :)

fmfly.

Popcorn, sweet.

2010-02-05T09:06:00.000-08:00

Hello :)

Its the weekends again. Weifei is already in NS. Bh and ws going in tmr. Boring. Fun pple are all gone. Pang also. Its like those few who are frequent onliners, would not be online anymore. This is bad. Real bad. Looks like I wont have to bother going online anymore. Hahaha XP

Maybe I should work on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows instead. And then Eclipse. Nice. Hahaha great plan. Just gotta, work it out ;D

Class girls have been trying to plan a dinner outing next week. Hopefully it will be successful! It has been aeons since I last seen them. Jamie and Shurlene especially. :)

YAY Lyn has booked the air tickets to BANGKOKKKKKKKKKKK. Whee :D Get to take plane again! The coolest part is, we are gonna see Know again!! :D And the second coolest part is we are taking SINGAPORE AIRLINES BACK TO SINGAPORE!! HAHAHAHA. Too good to be true. Oh, but that means 400bucks gone! D: Gonna camwhore like crazy over there! MUST TAKE LOADS OF PICTURES!!!! WHEEEEEE.

Nothing interesting these few days. Just sleeping very late and waking up very early. Conclusion: I'm uber tired. Okay, gonna sleep now :)

GOOD NIGHT :O
zzzzzzzzzzz

fmfly.

I'll remember what you said to me,

2010-02-02T07:41:00.000-08:00

Life's pretty boring these few days. Work is ever so tiring and sleepy for me. I go to work with a damn drowsy kinda feeling, with my eyes half shut. I know its bad cause it'll reflect bad working attitude and everything but i'd rather feel tired, than anything else. Hahaha.

Theres a Blood Donation Drive at NTU this week, guess im going for it with my mentor :) Shes a nice person. Uber nice and patient. Hahaha think i'll miss her after she goes for exchange programme. :(

Besides that, oh Ive signed up for the National Vertical Marathon this year alrdy. Yay! :D Feeling happy that I can join activities that are of "my type". Having stayed in office for 5 days and not moving around has made me very very fidgety. Haha i can like shake my leg non-stop underneath the table, which isnt very good. Im supposed to change for the better, not for the worse. Hahaha AIYAH SHAKE LEG ONLY WHAT. Hahah. XD

Went T.G.I.F. with Lyn yesterday :D The food there ROCKS. And the atmosphere. WOOHOOO. One of the best place I'd recommend for couples. :) Hhaha its damn relaxing. Like you can really take your time to eat and enjoy. PLUS the BROWNIE OBSESSION. Goodness, haha imagine vanilla ice cream on top of warm fudgy brownie with CARAMEL SAUCE. HAHAHA divine combination. :D After dinner, we went Far East to get some stuffs. I finally bought ONE new year clothing :) Haha at least, I felt truly happy at the end of the day, having met up with lyn :D

I kinda prefer to think of it as a process. First, you start by talking to that person. And then you talk more often. After which, unknowingly (which is the worse part), you get used to that person talking to you. And you rely so much upon it for companionship, or simply, just someone to talk to when you feel lonely. Dont really think its healthy, this process. Getting used to someone. Its never healthy. Because nobody can give you any promise that he/she will always be there when you need him/her. Its something I realised, that I cant handle well, enough.

CNY's coming. And I've bought macadamia sugee from Begawan Solo. DAMN NICE :D hopefully CNY wont be another disaster for me. Without my brother in Singapore, Im not as happy with my family already. Cause the only person who really understands how I feel and stands up for me when im in trouble, is gone. I really miss my brother. There are umpteen times that I wish he was here, at home. And I can say "whatever" to him and roll my eyes. And fight with him because he always occupy the full length mirror in my room and spend like a thousand years styling his hair. DAMN IT.

I should have run away
I should have pretended I wasnt listening
Like I didnt hear it, like I couldnt hear it
I shouldnt have heard your love in the first place
Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took a just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised

Because it came without a word.

fmfly.

2010-01-24T09:09:00.000-08:00

Hello :D Its Sunday night. Or rather, Monday morning. Hahaha i promised myself to try and sleep early today so that i'll have energy for work tmr but... Guess I cant. XD Drank starbucks just a while ago, like at 11pm. Hahaha the caffeine is doing its job well :( It was Caramel Frappacino (is this way you spell it?) Haha talked a little to clinty cause was at Broz's house to settle some stuffs. Clinty was very nice to accompany me buy Starbucks and wait for bus home. Hahaha yeah. Hmm its 1.12am now. Maybe its time to try and go sleep. HOPEFULLY WORK WOULD BE FUN TMR :D :D

Something stupid happened on Facebook. Dont think it matters alot to me cause I think my life's rather screwed up alrdy. But if it continues and worse, involving pple who are totally innocent, I think he would have gone too far alrdy. Sometimes, its funny how pple's mind work. Behavourial study. Cool man, I've kinda set on taking Psychology. Totally hooked on shows like Liar Game and The Mentalist. Heheh. That is if my results permit. :/ Lalalala XD

fmfly.

And everything's gonna be ALRIGHT! :D

2010-01-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

YEAH. Hahaha today was the first day of my work at ntu as some admin thingy for the Chinese Heritage Centre. Haha quite fun, as in cuz its a new experience mah. I slept at around 1.40am the night before and manage to wake up at 6.30am today. Cool right! Hahaha i dont even know how did I pull myself outta the bed. But seriously, I dont really enjoy sleeping nowadays. Bad dreams. Just hate the dreams I have. GAHHH XD

Anyway, felt damn tired like in the middle of the day during work. I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP WHEN MY MENTOR IS TEACHING ME SOMETHING. HAHAHA. Cool huh. Dont think she noticed. Aye you know, its the kind of UBER SLEEPY FEELING that I have during lectures and tutorials. No matter what you do, you just cant snap outta that feeling. UBER DROWSY. I have decided to sleep early on Sunday. I hope. Hahaha so that I have energy on monday for work. Like uber enthusiastic XD

One thing about work is. It is not busy enough, for me to take mind off things. Im uber free to the extent of being able to fall asleep. Cuz I dont really think there're things for me to do all the time. Ugh, dont like the feeling of going to work yet not having my mind occupied. :(

GOT TO EAT SOME HELL GOOD FOOD AT NTU THOUGH. Hahaha tried the western stall today at Canteen 2 i think. NICE AND CHEAPO.> BEEF MEATBALL SOUP NEXT MONDAY MAYBE. HAHA PREPARING MY MENU LE. Gotta go now! CIAOOOOOO! XD

fmfly.

The Epilogue;

2010-01-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

She blogged.
Obviously still concerned about you.
Chunks of words.
Seemingly unintended post,
Somehow tells me one very important thing.
Just cause I know it would be important to you as well.
She still loves you, you idiot.
She still loves you a lot, a hell lot, you stupid daft-headed!

Sometimes I really cant understand,
Why is she doing this to herself
And to you. Unfathomable.

This innocence, is brilliance, I hope that it will stay.
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now.
And I'll hold on to it, dont you let it pass you by.

A kinda familiar, bad feeling.

2010-01-19T04:42:00.000-08:00

I really dunno how the hell did you manage to destroy my defenses which i have been building up for a year or two. I'm really stupid to think that my defenses were strong enough but you caught me off guard. Totally insane and stupid, I am. Just within days or maybe weeks, you are able to wipe off whatever mentality I was having to numb my feelings. Feelings were numbed.

But you, how should I put it. You were like a match stick, unlighted. Me, a rope soaked in kerosene. Its just frightening to know how precarious a situation I always have been in. I cant believe I was this weak. Too weak, easily bluffed and tricked if one ever tries. Now that things happened and have been said and done, I'm like a burnt rope. I've got to wait for the rain to come again and wash away the burnt particles. So that I will be alright again.

Either that or I can burn myself over and over again so as to numb this damn feeling. I really am confused as to how I should treat you. Best friends arent we. Im giving up. And I cant help it but to treat you nice, just cause you're my best friend nothing else, i swear. I dont want you to think otherwise. Alternatively, I can stay away, avoid, refrain, restrict like I've done before. This method worked before but I dont enjoy forcing myself to restrict the interaction I have with you, in that case, what kind of best friends are we lah. Siao ah.

However, more interaction means more feelings involved. Most probably, I'll get burnt hell load of time. AIYAH SCREW THIS LAH. IM JUST GONNA BE MYSELF. UGH SCREW THIS SHIT.
SCREW TO THE MAXIMUMMMMMMMM. GAHHHHHHHH.

You, the creator of the most hurtful words yet,
source of the most beautiful memories in my existence.
Goodbye, for the last time I promise.

Wish you could touch me with the colours of your life.

2010-01-07T23:58:00.000-08:00

Wedding Dress By Tae Yang

I would argue
Then you would cry
As you’re struggling, I would only get stronger
My heartaches behind these shadows
My face brightens up as I see your smile
I worry that you might notice my feelings
And I get scared that the gap between us would widen
I hold my breath
Then I bite my lips
Then I pray that she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

You, who never understood my feelings
Because of that, I ended up despising you
Then I wished a misfortune upon you
But now, my eyes are dry
I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone
Every night, I would look back and think
If I already knew the results
Then I close my eyes
Then I dream an endless dream
Then I pray she would leave his side.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.
Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever
I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore
The wedding dress you once wore

By all means, be happy with him
So I can move on
Please erase me out of your heart
Although I tried my best but, no oh~

I’ve been living the lies for too long
Yet, she would look at me and smile.

I wish that I could tell you something.

2009-12-28T09:50:00.000-08:00

From Ms Giri's wedding (picture above)

From Camp Challenge 2009 (picture above)

Hello :)

To prevent anymore spamming from Mr Insipid and Wei Liang, this is it. Haha hmm lets just say that the week ahead would probably be more interesting and exciting than the previous week. Christmas was sucky, as usual. I dont really like occasions like Valentines' Day, Christmas, i dunno, probably its cause of occasions like this that makes me emo like shit. I dont really like it. Oh wells. :S

Well, new year is on its way too. 2010. Wow, never thought i'd survive til this day. Currently working at some ice cream shop. The experience is not that bad. I'd say i enjoy working a hundred times more than studying. Though working do make me lose alot of bonding opportunities with my friends. Both cca and class :/ Kinda like an opportunity costs. Such bonding experiences should be priceless and hence, i should forgo work and attend such bonding sessions right. Somehow, with what i have been going through, like in my family and everything. My perception of how life is suppose to be, changed. Everything somehow revolves around money. Every decision i make. I have to consider whether i have the purchasing power or not. And trust me, that kind of lifestyle sucks to the core.

Weifei once told me, something like not to get too into work until you neglect the essence of life. The enjoyment and the priceless moments which one might let it slip by. Cause i almost forgot, some things just happen for once in a lifetime. I should cherish these stuffs. I really should. Even though making money and everything is important, i should never neglect the kind of lifestyle that i want to have. The kind of friends i wanna have. The kind of family i need to have. These, are the things that i dont wanna miss out. Especially not because of such a stupid thing called money. Uh huh. For that, thank you weifei. I owe you a party world. I owe Jamie and Lynette a starbucks outing. Hahaha. :D

Alright, theres guides campfire tmr. And probably drinking at Ken's Bar at night with class people. Haha time to zzzzzz. Bye peeps. Live life.

Cause you know when you fall,

I'll be there for you.

And if only I could find the answer,

To take it all away.

Cause I've got a life to live.

2009-12-14T05:33:00.000-08:00

Hey! Haha post A levels life aint as exciting or happy which I've thought it to be. Though it is much better than pre A levels life. :) Waiting for results is indeed a painful process. To be exact, a approximately 3 months long process. Gosh. Oh well, what's done is done. Guess I'll have to be prepared for the worst and pray for the best.

Nothing in exact to be excited or happy about. Haha oh I'm currently trying to read 2 books at the same time. Unfortunately, I'm a poor multi-tasker, unlike most women. Haha so I only managed to like focus more on one book -The Little Prince. It is a very interesting story book, I vaguely rmb reading it when I was super young because I thought it was an easy story book to read and moreover, it's uber thin (only requirement for me to start reading a book then XD) I think I finished the book but at the end, I was uber uber confused about the book. I didnt think much of the book, cause I thought it was just a lousy story book that confused me. Hahaha now when I read it, maybe its cause I've aged or something. Hahaha I find more meaning in the story book. I recommend it to all adults (18 and above) :D Haha.

Besides reading story books, I'm also giving tuition. To primary school kiddos. Haha very new experience. Though I still dont see the need for primary school children to have tuition unless they're nearing PSLE or something. Haha ah well. What can I say X)

Have been trying to find a job. Like a full time one. So I can earn LOADS LOADS LOADS of money. Haha yeah I realised that money is very important for most pple and many pple are fighting over it. That is very stupid, lame and stupid. I do not wish that to happen to my family so I've decided to earn LOADS of money so that it would not become a topic of meaningless debate. Imagine fighting or quarrelling with your family members and even, friends cause of money. It is damn lame. Whats the point lah, stupid piece of crap. Causing so much troubles in the world. Capitalism, inequity and poverty. What the heck man. Money will not and never bring happiness to me, I feel. At most, satisfaction which is just a nice and empty feeling.

Haha okay, on a lighter note. Im quite excited for this friday and weekend. Dont ask me why :P Lalalala :)

Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.

2009-11-20T08:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, haha this post is presumably exciting relative to the rest because there are many pictures in it. Haha yup, just some random pictures taken with classmates and mh on the day of my second last paper. Think we chilled quite a bit before the exams. Kinda talked rubbish. Haha at least we didnt panick :) Well, A levels are gonna be over for me. Last paper on monday. I think I'll have a difficult time cracking my brains of what to do. Thats how i felt after my O levels. Empty, life has no more direction for me. Hahaha okay, i promise to use this long holiday to the best of my ability. No more life wasting for me. Its the time to live my life. :)

Plans after As are rather tentative. Nothings really confirmed. Except for my upcoming job at SITEX. Yup, gonna be 6 days long. Hopefully its gonna be a good experience for me and my friends. Gotta thank Lynette Yeo for the job. Hahaha. Oh and there're plans to dye hair as well. But its tentative. The date is not even set yet. I wanna do sososo many things. But I dunno what to do first. Maybe I should list them down. Anyway I feel like cutting my hair super short. Like a boy cut with a feminine touch aka androgenous :) I think it'd be fun. Though after the haircut, im sure many pple would stare at me like im some weird freak/ lesbian/ homo. I dont really like judgemental pple. They tend to misunderstand other pple which causes alot of unnecessary tensions. Thats one thing ive learnt from history, always clear the air whenever you suspect something, because what you think of that person might not always be right.

Met some attitude problem lady at the control station of Yio Chu Kang mrt station today. Haha, was going to top up my card and then she asked me "five cents?" (at least thats what I thought Ive heard her saying) and then i asked her, "Huh five cents?" Before I could really understand what she meant, which is "five or ten dollars top up?" I think she is in a bad mood or something, she just shook her head and give a why-are-you-so-stupid-to-understand-what-im-saying-kind-of-look. I immediately flared up. Was very mad at that woman. I just dont understand why must pple treat each other like that. I know its might be my bad that my ears are covered by my hair and Ive probably not dug my ears for who knows how long, which might have obstructed my hearing. Or maybe she had an ulcer, and couldnt speak properly. I just do not understand a need for such an attitude towards me. Am I that dislikeable?

Oh well, I think Ive learnt alot these few days. People might not actually be what you perceive them to be and also, their intentions might not be entirely what you perceive them to be. From one person's point of view. It could be very biased. Against or towards. I think ive this surge of disappointment in myself because people could not meet my expectations of them. But then again, who am I to form expectations for them to meet? They have no obligations to meet them and its not their fault that they are not able to meet them. Its just them. Ive got to accept people for who they are and not what i think they must become to be. I guess, its only through strangers that you see the reality of life.

I've made a new friend recently. Though he's not what I expect him to be, it's perfectly fine, I think. I like him for who he is. Regardless of whether he's trying to hide his true personality because he dislikes me or he's just like that. Since he wants to portray it this way to me and my friends, I'm cool with it. I'm just glad that he's happy.

It was kind of hard to begin with,

to force the impossible to happen.

That's why they say,"it's impossible." <3

2009-11-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

张栋梁 - 低调作词:管启源作曲:柯贵民

嬉笑打闹拥抱留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠熬过了最低潮一起生活
也一起埋怨过走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明你知道
晨昏日夜颠倒这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑没有人去打扫感情很微妙
再多付出也好再多关心都徒劳
爱从来就没有固定的轨道它最后停在哪里谁知道
我的难过是如此低调因为不想打扰
我在寂寞的墙角努力的对自己好
你用微笑回报朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调
傻子才会哭闹就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择假装不知道

只怕我自己的掩饰不够好

Damn nice song. :)

2009-10-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

Taking Chances by Celine Dion :)

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

Hello, the song above was recommended by Mr Insipid, who is always so nice to recommend nice songs to me, spamming me youtube urls etc. Haha thank you :) I like the lyrics of the song. The song itself is nice too, worth listening. Haha.

Have been heading to school to study everyday. Initially it was kinda unproductive because will talk a little and even play with zy's itouch. Haha unforgettable moments with Tap Tap and Wheel Of Fortune, damn nice games which are unfortunately distracting like mad. Haha Im absolutely guilty of not focussing. Many reasons to not focus but am improving recently. Like at least I know how to focus a little bit more these days. I enjoy studying with friends, at least you know that you arent alone :) Hopefully study sessions get more productive next week because its the last week before the big As. I can study, I can mug, I cant promise anything though. Not even promising myself of any decent grades that Im hoping to get. Just wish to get something decent which would settle my parents. At least something not as terrible as prelims will do. Oh well, no point hoping or wishing, time will tell. :/

I realised something recently, and its killing me. Haha not something huge but something I would really like to know because its making someone else very unhappy. I really hope everything turns out fine, it'll be fine eventually. I know it :) Just hope for the best to happen. I mean its not like this kind of things happen everyday, its very rare for someone to be so sure of something. I hope he'll go for it, and dont be afraid of failing. Because you never know til you try, especially for something which you would hold so dearly to you. Hahaha okay, this entire paragraph aint making any sense alrdy, like my history essays. Urgh. Haha shall write more next time when I've more time. Geez :D

"Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world"

It's okay,
Baby, just go for it.

Friends Forever?

2009-10-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hello :)

Had farewell assembly last friday, pretty cool with the funny performances and of course the most exciting part was the prize presentation (not sarcastic i swear) hahaha. Cant believe I just graduated from AJC. PAE times felt so near, too near, 3408. I rmbed that time when I was depressed to the max when I first knew that 3408 is going to go separate ways. Like different classes and different subject combinations. I really liked that class because we are kinda happening. Hanging out after school was kinda like a normal thing, cause I think it was PAE that's why. Haha went bowling and movies, class lunches at the canteen etc. I really missed 3408, especially during the period of the start of JAE. My new class was 3708, really didnt know what it had in store for me.

Maybe it's the fact that i dislike changes. I love being in my comfort zone all the time. After making great friendships in a class, I was probably afraid, and maybe tired of going through the same old process of making friends. When everything is so superficial initially. That's what made me miss 3408. Not knowing what to expect in 3708 just made me feel even more !!! Haha cant really find a word to describe it. It's not a bad feeling nor issit a good feeling. Just !!! Being in 3708 made me undergo many changes. Having to adapt to all sorts of things. First was to make friends with the people there. Second was having to WORK with them, i.e PW.

I shall skip the long and draggy process of probably 1 year plus and FLASH FORWARD to today. Hahaha. I <3 my class alot. Nope it's not exaggeration nor issit like a superficial comment. Call me gullible or naive, I dont care. For the main reason as to why I love this class so much is The People. I love everyone in the class. They're just so nice. Too nice to be true. All the girls and boys. I seriously doubt that you can ever find another class with people so nice and true in it. Every single one. I dont think I can ever find another person in the entire world to replace any of them. They just got the personalities.

Guys
Kendrick - Technical Head, GP class sitting partner, PAE 3408 classmate and scandal -_-
Wei Zhong - Neutral Friend (HAHA), Retarded sometimes, Ex GP Rep, Man Utd Fan
Zhan yee - Friend who lives in Seng Kang also, Council dude, Man Utd Fan
Alvin Ang Shi Hao - My Ex-PW mate, Soccer dude, Liverpool Fan

Girls
Jamie Ng Wei Xuan - PAE 3408 classmate, PE Rep, Germanholic ;D, NNNNNNehnineh, NNNNLolli, one word = crazy shit. Hahaha XD

Toh Min Shurlene - PAE 3408 classmate, Math Rep, Idol Lolli and FT! Man Utd Fan!

Lee Ying Rong - DRONG DRONG! used to like FJ, MATH GOD - MAAA~, PHYSICS GOD - PAAAA~, TQ!

Lynette Yeo - Nette Yeo! Nets Fats! :) TP! WOOTS, BRUSHHH, Second MATHA STEWARD :D

Jovita Wong - GIRLFRIEND <3, BOBIBA BONG! Super exaggerated girl :D

Cheah Xinni - GP Rrrrrrep, Dancer! Fair, skinny, SMART, ELITE :)

Moltakran Thangsereekul - Thai friend! SMART, ELITE :)

Farhanah - PAE 3408 friend, ENTHU GUY'S FRIEND :D

Haha yup 13 of us. :D

<3s

Twice, fallen.

2009-10-02T07:55:00.000-07:00

Hello. Its Friday yet again. Seems like I like to post on Fridays, maybe cause its one of the slackest day since theres no school the next day. Anyway, nothing exciting going on right now. Hmm probably saddening, largely. Im feeling very discouraged again. I think this is probably one of the worst situations in my entire schooling life :) besides the year in secondary school where I failed my English. Haha. Maybe it might be good for me. Like a wake up call. Either way it just sucks in the short term. Gotta think of a master plan to tell my parents about it. Have been trying very hard to avoid this topic recently. Anyhow, sometimes, we cant run away forever. Unimaginable reactions. Think I gotta find a shelter for myself, somewhere to hide. Maybe underneath my bed. (If only that helps) The only thing that I can do now is probably to study harder. Study study study. Boring. Cant wait for this to be over. Ugh I hate studying. Now, maybe thats the reason for my grades. Haha but thats a fact nobody could change. I guess my grades do matter to me after all, my numbness is probably just a delusion, for me to feel no thing.

Im feeling a little more lousy and disgusted by the fact that I actually did study for the subject, especially. If only I didnt, at least that might make up to an excuse in itself. But I've got nothing/no one to blame for my results right now except myself. My stupidity and inability to live up to the expectations of the meritocratic society today. I know I shouldn't linger in self-pity and not do no shit. I'll study harder I promised. The thing is, what if it still isn't enough? My parents have been encouraging enough to remind me constantly that I HAVE to get to University, it's not a choice now. It's like a compulsory thing. If not, I'll just have to die probably? Great. Now my life depends on the kind of results Im getting. Wonderful life, right.

I've always wonder. Is University the ONLY route to survival in today's world? Comment. Hahaha sounds like a GP essay question. Heck it. I totally disagree. Okay probably in Singapore, that might be true. But what about those who didnt? Are they on the verge of breaking down now? Are they dying just because they didnt get into University? Those shop keepers, waitresses, stall holders and assistants that I see in the public do not seem to face such issues. Okay, it might be true that they would not be able to enjoy the kind of luxurious lifestyle. Then, just heck it lah! Is being luxurious so important? Is having money so important? If you dont have the ability, then just face reality and be a normal person. Im just seriously glad that Im surviving now. I dont really ask for more than food, water, shelter. Thats it. Thats all I need. I dont need a freaking University Cert which is screwing the hell outta me right now. Though I might not depend on it to LIVE, it is undeniable that I want it. Alright, so I'll just do my best and get what I want. And if I cant do it for who knows why, screw my stupidity then. I'll just live a happy, stupid life and get a simple job. At least, in that way, I'm happy :(

In serious need of:
1) Plan to make myself happy
2) Plan to announce results to parents
3) Plan to hide after announcement
4) Sleep
5) You :D

世界唯一的你

2009-09-25T09:27:00.000-07:00

Hey there!

Haha yup it's the weekends, yet again. Dont think there are any plans, gonna rot at home once again. I really wanted to catch The Ugly Truth. Haha somehow. Guess I'll most probably go catch it by myself. Something I've never done in my life. It can be a fulfilling experience I guess. Haha had a surprise today, Lynette and Ying Rong went to buy a snail snail soft toy for me. Erm I liked it alot? Yup, not for the fact that they gave me something but for the fact that they even thought about me. :) Thank you Lynette and Ying Rong. Really appreciated it. Owe yall tori-q and tako pachi lah okay! Haha. (Private bet)

Played Badminton with classmates after school (Jamie, Shurlene, Yr, Lyn, Jovi and Xin Niang) today because it ended early, like 1015. Haha though the shortened time-table was supposed to allow us to study more, it seems as though it aint working, for now. Probably we'll all start going crazy after we receive our results. Though im really nervous about getting back my results. I aint very bothered by them. Something is seriously very wrong with me. And I dont know why my habit of falling asleep in class and even at home now, is coming back. Hate this feeling. I dont like to be in a daze the whole day. It just makes me waste my life further. Ugh.

Read New Moon the whole day today. Very nice. I cant stop reading it. I just have to know what happens next. Im looking forward to the part where Bella and Edward reunites. Though I really like Jacob's role. Like the Sun in Bella's life. One which makes her happy :) Think Im gonna finish it soon. Haha. Oh anyway there's a blood donation thingy around my house. Maybe I'll go for it.

I couldn't imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of,
not physically at least.

One of the few advantages of losing everything.

Bella Swan, New Moon.

You’re the only thing it would hurt me to lose.

2009-09-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

And so prelims are over. What now. Haha.
Think I'd be slacking for the whole of today.
Really wanna watch Twilight.
Gotta borrow the DVD or something.
Off to relaxation time then! :)

Mostly I dream about being with you forever.

Bella Swan, Twilight, Epilogue.

Letting this feeling sink in,

2009-09-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hello! Haha I have been sitting my prelims. It was rather sucky. As expected. Like who would say prelims was damn easy lah! Haha, erm though i think i really mugged harder than mid-years, i think the results aint going to be good. Im just afraid of being disappointed in myself. Hate losing faith. Especially my parents. If they were to find out that my results are not good, they would blame my friends again. So retarded lah. Oh well. It's okay, everything will be fine, I hope.

Will be having my last paper tomorrow. Dont think that gives me an excuse to use the comp at this time. Though i told weifei that i would not be going online. Haha Im not, just using the comp :) Hahaha nah my real motive was to see the math paper 2 answer which is in my comp. So i had no choice, really didnt want to, but to on the comp XD XD Hahaha, the computer is a major distraction. But its a distraction i <3 Haha weird meeee.

Anyway i visited my cousin's house last saturday. Hes twelve. Having PSLE in 2 week's time. All the best Tron Ng. Hahaha though he'll never ever see this, but still hopefully he'll meet his parents' expectations. Hmm i went to his house and i saw STACKS. Literally stacks of exam papers from different schools. All over the living room. Hahaha erm i had a shock? Cuz i didnt remember studying so hard for my PSLE. Haha at least my living room wasnt to the extent comparable to an A level student's room. Hmm not to say it's bad. Im just shocked. Its kind of understandable though. Like parents these days would want their child to do well. Okay not well. To top everything. Haha my brother and I swore that we'll never let our child grow up in such a competitive environment. No way am i letting my child suffer like what I did. Its too, unbearable. :)

A nice place for me to retreat would probably be like a countryside? Haha i dont really like city life. Its too, superficial and shallow. Makes people seem so, evil. Haha it would be nice to live in a town where the people there are simple and what they want to do all day is to just live happily, right? Hahaha thats probably the life which im looking and never will be living for, unless a miracle happens. Hahaha oh wells. Thinking too far again XD

Suddenly am missing my secondary school friends. Guides friends. Anger, Yan ying, Jia Ni, Fathiyah, Charis Toh, Sandra, Pamela Choong (HAHAHAHA) and many more. Classmates too, Ho Yan Yi, Fang Xiu Xian, Joanna, and many many others. Love Cedar. Never will i be able to experience again, the girls' school kinda lifestyle. <3

C-E-D-A-R

CEDAR! Thats what we are!

S-O-L-I-D

SOLID! Thats what we are!

CEDAR CEDAR

SOLID SOLID

CEDAR SOLID

SOLID CEDAR

CHIKALAKA PIYA PIYA

SUA! (? Haha not sure about this last word, we'll just shout some word very zai-ly ;D)

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything.
Im just trying to be happy.
Hmmmm.

Doraemon Strawberry Yogurt Drink :D

2009-08-31T09:19:00.000-07:00

Hello, this is kinda a random post but i think this song rocks. Hahaha it's Future Love by Kristinia DeBarge. Worth listening. :) Jiayou mugging people meanwhile! Everything's gonna be over soon. :D

Kristinia DeBarge - Future Love Lyrics

a couple of years.
and I’m gonna know your name.
it’s like I waited for you forever.
and I know this might sound insane.
but it won’t be long
til’ we’re gonna take this up.
what I’m talking about our future love.

it’s so far away.
and baby you’re right next door.
got me picturing your face again.
something worth waiting for.
i put all others behind me.
they don’t live up.
i know what I want what I need to the T.

baby if they ask me.
i would say I don’t even know your name.
and when they ask me:
does it change?
no it don’t change a thing.
’cause it’s something about the way you love me.
and it’s something about the way you know me.
that I can’t explain enough.

just something about our future love future love future love.
something about a future love future love future love.

walking hand in hand.
going on the second date.
i can picture how we’re touching
and the kiss I can almost taste.
i imagine the all the ways.
we meet for the very first time.
i can see the place feel the love at first sight.

baby if they ask me.
i would say I don’t even know your name.
and when they ask me:
does it change?
no it don’t change a thing.
’cause it’s something about the way you love me.
and it’s something about the way you know me.
that I can’t explain enough.

just something about our future love future love future love.
something about a future love future love future love.

i know the minute you pull up next to me.
we standing there like destiny.
when it feels like you’re fighting just to breathe that’s when you know.

the minute I pull up next to you.
suddenly you don’t know what to do
everything inside you says that I’m the one.

baby if they ask me.
i would say I don’t even know your name.
and when they ask me:
does it change?
no it don’t change a thing.
’cause it’s something about the way you love me.
and it’s something about the way you know me.
that I can’t explain enough.[2x]

just something about our future love future love future love.
something about a future love future love future love.

future love future love future love future love.

<3 <3

Tear my heart open, just to feel.

2009-08-20T09:24:00.001-07:00

Hello! Haha, today is Friday! :D Feeling a little happy than usual, of course cause of the fact that the weekend is approaching. BUT, I'm feeling a little lousy because it's the weekends, and I have no plans again. :( Like gonna stay home the whole weekend again. Haiz, what to do. Nobody wanna date me. Even now, my broz has his own partner-to-be for company already. Boo. Oh well, it's okay :) I mean, just be a loner lor. Hahaha. XD

Anyway the 7th month is here! Haha nothing much to comment about this, but yeah, feeling a little chilly these few days. Kinda rain rather often. Dont really like it. It just makes my mood, go down down down. :( I dunno whats wrong actually, there're actually no apparent reasons for my mood swings. Seriously, i should just get a hold of myself and move on with life. Life, with so many possibilities ahead, awaiting for me. Even though I might not have met the right one now, I may meet him in the future. Im not so sure as to whether there's even such a person, but all I can do is hope :) Im fine with being alone too. I mean, the only feeling that sucks is when all your friends have partners already, and you have no one else for company :( :( guess ultimately, the only person I can ever depend on, cannot be anyone else but myself. Sad, but true.

Recently, I've met this guy. I scolded broz for being zhong se qing you. Like prioritizing lover over friends, but when this guy heard me scolding, he actually replied: Zhong se qing you, OKAY WHAT!! Hahaha, I was really taken aback. For the first time in my life, I was actually convinced that it was actually okay and alright. That guy didnt explain much to me as to why is it alright and okay but I figured the reason out myself, quite scary and depressing fact.

It's okay because if you really love that person, you would want to spend every moment possible with him/her. No one knows how long their love can last. But if its love strong enough, nothing, can ever come in between the people in love. Not even friends. As one falls deeper into love, he/she might find things they do, even more senseless. So I figured in the end that it was actually okay. Because only when lovers do that, the only reason for which they hold onto each other is none other than true love. Yup, great and huge realization. <3

So, I've decided to let broz off. Haha, let him enjoy the period where love blossoms. The most amazing thing is, it blossoms between broz and his partner-to-be without them knowing it themselves. Probably the girl knows already, but broz, certainly is still in denial, cause he probably experience things of this sort for the first time, hence unsure of what he is actually already feeling. Ah, love. Hahaha. I enjoy watching people fall in love. Im serious. Just cause it's probably the only time in life where people stop being hypocritical and face the true feelings within them. And it's probably the only moment in life where you find that the world has become such an amazing and beautiful place that you have never seen it before, just cause you did not experience love before.

Alright, enough about love. Hahaha what a sensual and emotional post XD all the best to broz and partner-to-be! May them be together and realize that it's love they are experiencing right now :D

Maybe my weakness is, I care
too much.

2009-08-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now—if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it—I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much as he’d given me. More than I’d asked for, more than I’d deserved.

Maybe someday I’d be able to see it that way.

Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 5, p.124

If only, holding back was that easy.

2009-08-14T10:18:00.000-07:00

Pc, me and weifei.

Haha at Asian Kitchen! :D

Weiliang trying to act shocked with his pork cutlet. Haha.

Hello! Hahaha today was fun. Brought Yakult to school for the class girls who didnt have a chance to drink it yesterday when shurlene bought cuz there wasnt enough in a tube for all. :) yakult simply rocks. All the flavours, so nice. Hahaha, bet yingrong loved it lah! Hahaha, she totally kidnapped it immediately after Assembly.

Studied in school for a while with yingrong, know, farharnah and shurlene :D Hahaha oh and i decided not to join brother and khoo and bro's class for the movie, Where Got Ghosts? (i think) Hahaha think its a movie thats damn funny but its horror in nature. Think its rather creative for Jack Neo to even think of this. Hahaha seriously, who could have thought of piecing horror and comedy lah! Hahaha, oh i decided not to join them cuz i wanted to save money $$ and other reasons lah. Haha, doesnt matter anyway. :)

After which i chionged back home and changed clothes, preparing to go out and meet weifei and pc for outing at bugis. :D decided to join them instead because i figured it will definitely cost less than 6bucks to walk around aimlessly and shop :) Hahaha, took many pictures, and crazy ones. Really enjoyed myself cuz UBER long never shop already :D Yup. We ate at Asian Kitchen at the Iluma, quite nice! Hahaha we saw this sisi waitress there. Quite funny, cuz weifei was holding back not to laugh when he came to ask if we need water. and the most funny part i found was that he asked us if we needed water and we passed him our cup. he said haha~ okie, thankSSSSSS. HAHAHHAA he totally dragged his S as though theres no tmr lah! HHAHA seriously felt like LOLing. XD

Okay, i promise myself to mug really hard this weekend because i aint helping brother with his swimming and i aint going to work with lynette and shurlene. UBER slack to the max. Gonna stay home all weekend AGAIN

:( oh wells, gotta study hard, no choice. Later my parents nehneh again. Hahaa.

Byee!

Goodbye,

My Almost Lover. <3

OMG NEW DISCOVERY.

2009-08-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

HELLO. omg I CAN CHANGE THE COLOUR AND FONT SIZE!!! HAHAHAHA okay, am i slow or what :D YAY, dont need change skin liao. woohooo!

I don't wanna cry a tear for you, so forgive me if I do.

2009-08-13T09:01:00.000-07:00

hello! :) haha okay, i dunno why but this template doesnt seem to allow other fonts and colour :( i really like this template though. simple and nice. like me. HAHAHAHA kidding kidding. hmmm oh well, guess have to live with this til i find another nicer one which allows me to change font size and colour :D

school has been rather okay. hmmm wrote 5 essays yesterday for econs mock exam -.- hahaha, write until my knuckles hurt. really, dunno why though. hahaha, really worried that when the real exams come, i wouldnt be able to finish writing cuz my hands are weak. that would be so lame -.- haha, think i gotta train my hands more!

went to cityhall today for a drink at starbucks with my rocking classmates. they have been nice enough just because i said i felt like drinking starbucks. hahaha actually i think its cuz after i said that, they all had cravings for it. HAHA. see! im so influential. HAHAHA. really enjoyed myself at cityhall starbucks. i mean, its air-coned. hahaha even though theres the irritating cadbury advertisement (where they play their eyebrows) which was on constant replay, haha i think i really liked chit chatting with them. about life, guys, crap and laugh out loud. literally. :D thanks guys. you girls rock :D

even though my classmates told me that by LOLing, it means that one has low comedy, hahaha but i really like to LOL. HOW. hahaha cant suppress the laughter within myself leh. haha, oh well, guess i have to admit that i have low comedy then. :D anything lah huh. hahaha.

hmmm i was supposed to go online and find the history tutorial outline for global economy but here i am! HAHA slacker me. oh didnt i mention, we even walked around cityhall until 7plus! hahaha aint that cool! its like on a thurs and yet we are spending half of the day at TOWN. hahaha didnt feel guilty at all for not studying. im serious. is there something wrong with me? :/

felt a little bit, just a little bit guilty when my parents found out that i went cityhall and they sort of nehnehed a little. usual stuffs: PRELIMS ARE COMING, STILL ALWAYS GO OUT. -.- oh and my dad never fails to blame my friends. hate it when he does that. still, i kept quiet. didnt wanna start a quarrel. meaningless and tired. too tired to quarrel with them already. they can think whatever they like lah. haha my friends are rocking and i know it. :D

okay i kept on making promises to myself that i would mug harder. each day, it just seems to be further and further away from mugging. whole day day dreaming, distracted piece of shit. haiz, I REALLY GOTTA EXERCISE SOME SELF CONTROL LIAO. okay, BYE.

HAHAHA. :D

And i would like to believe that it ain't true
because i know this feeling before.

New Skin :D

2009-08-11T06:07:00.000-07:00

Hello! Haha NEW SKIN FINALLYYYYY. Hahaha Im just happy at the fact that its changed. Haha shall blog another time :D byee!

2009-08-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

hello. think im supposed to be my dreamland now, but im still up, waiting for an email to be sent to me. haha anyway actually i think that person whos supposed to send me the mail has alrdy fallen asleep. lol, oh wells. nevertheless, ive decided to come and do a little bit of blogging.

didnt really expect anybody to be online at this hour, okay its not exactly very late, its 12.36am. haha as what ive expected, only a few friends were online. haha and hes one of them. actually i dont really understand the term to describe the both of us. friends? but we dont even talk, we've become like the stranger on the street. do i want to be friends? yup, i mean youre a nice guy. i dont wanna lose a friend like you. but why didnt i initiate any convo and even avoid you as much as possible? because im scared? yup probably. i dont know, am i a loser to be afraid of you? haha, i cant even answer that question myself. i dont even know the kind of attitude i should have towards you. i dont even know what you think of me now, what do you think our status is right now. friends? lol, i have no clue at all. do i want to know the answers to the questions above? yup, maybe. so that probably it wont be this awkward when we see each other again. i dunno, what can you do, what can i do. sometimes i do admit that i still miss the times we had, those were precious memories. your actions buffled me. issit intended to be this way? or am i just doing too much thinking on my own part? oh well, complicated issues. sorry if this post bored you, but this is how i feel right now. or rather, each time we walk past each other.

i really hope things are doing fine for you, because they are (i guess) for me. i guess some things were meant to be and some, never.

And i still rmbed clearly why did i,
with you.

2009-08-02T08:53:00.000-07:00

Hi :)

Alright, lemme start all the way from last week onwards. Haha guessed I fell sick, like finally. Erm it was an unlucky week I shall say. Okay, firstly I lost my phone on Monday, and I had to be phoneless for a day. Haha okay it might not be that serious but being phoneless = being uncontactable. And it sux to be uncontactable. Hahaha okay not saying like there are a lot of pple who wants to contact me, but what if. Haha oh well, and then it was a rather bad day already. I think it was on Tuesday that I started developing flu symptoms. Haha like serious sore throat, ultimate pain and dryness. Hate it to the ultimate uber max. It’s like no matter how much gallons of water you gulped, it just doesn’t help. And I went to watch harry potter on that day. Haha with Jamie and lynette (: it was sort of a comforting thing to do since I lost my phone and had sore throat. BUT I actually fell asleep during the movie. Like what the shit right. I mean it’s a movie for goodness sake, I paid to watch it ): aye, and due to the large amount of water I drank, I had to do to the loo during the middle of the movie. Hahaha GREAT. Oh wells, that was my luck last week.

Okay, luckily after visiting the doc’s on wed, my sore throat and runny nose sort of turned for the better :D and I had 2 days MC. I decided to go school on thurs cuz I had to pass jovita and brother something important to them. Hahaha so yeah sorry if I had spreaded the virus but I already tried very hard not to sneeze or emit any sort of saliva particles out of my body :) haha and then, I decided to not go school on Friday. Yay it was quite nice actually, like I can finally catch up with my sleep. :D oh, talking about sleeping, I have been having the weirdest kind of dreams these days. Some has been going on for months. Haiz, just wish it will go away. Others, totally absurd. Like me TALKING to FP. Can you imagine. It was part of my dream. Hahaha totally desirable outcome lah! XD oh and my dream last night was uberly weird and scary. I dreamt that my brother and I got robbed. I was kidnapped at first but then he came to rescue me. In the end, he got kidnapped and I was super angry that I carried a penknife and chopper, in the hopes of finding the kidnapper. I rmbed being very very very very angry. Hahahah didn’t know I cared so much about my brother though :) I woke up, only to my ultimate relief that it was just a dream.

Oh wells, have been thinking quite a lot over the weekend, like about life and stuffs. Hahaha okay I know im not supposed to. BUT I CANT HELP IT. I mean spending a weekend with my family = thinking time yeah! Ahaha, what I seriously thought about was about noble love. Haha okay I guess sometimes in life when you cant get something, you just have to let go and wish that it will be for the better right? I mean, it’s the best consolation that one can give to him or herself. I guess, it goes the same for love. I mean if you cant be with somebody, you just have to wish him/her the best right? And if he/she has a great and ideal partner to be with, just let it be lor. Haha after all, they would be happier and better off. Okay just got this stupid idea from a show I watched on channel u, where the guy suggested a break up with the girl because of family disapproval. Haha however, I always ponder. Does that sort of action make it noble love? Or foolishness? Like if, and that is if, you are very sure that he or she IS THE ULTIMATE ONE and they aren’t replaceable then should one consider trying his or her best to keep them by their side? Alright, that, would be selfish. Oh well, if only there were really matches made in heaven. Then we wouldnt have to think about such stuffs. Guess for the one who is being noble, he or she just have to suffer silently, hoping that the pain will go away asap. But they’ll have to try real hard though. After all, its love we’re talking about, not infatuation or like. Haha yup just a food for thought. If you really had a choice, would you sacrifice or satisfy yourself? :D

If only loving you was possible,
maybe it wouldnt have been this hard,
to forget. <3

2009-07-24T06:22:00.000-07:00

HALLO.

Haha I just realized it’s nearing one month since the last time I blogged. So yeah think I gotta at least type something soon if not it will just start to decompose again. Ahaha. Actually I think I’ve got other stuffs to do online but I think I’ll just push it back for later. Haha, anyway today is Friday and it’s a Friday night. Im freaking alone at home on a FRIDAY NIGHT. Fridays are supposedly have-fun-days can! Cuz the next day is like Saturday so can party all night! Hahaha, oh wells nobody’s home ): BORINGGGGGG.

Don’t really know what to do now actually, like no one’s chatting with me, facebook’s cleared of all notifications and I just feel like slacking before I get on to REAL WORK. Sianzz lah. My life is so boring. Study eat sleep. Hahahah WHAT A FULFILLING LIFE. Okay I should just stop all my sarcasms. Life sucks. Hmm okay lemme talk about my plan for tmr. Mug whole day? Hahaha, kinda interesting huh. Erm what about Sunday, OHOHOH there’s playboating on Sunday. I LIKE! :D Hahaha its something like kayaking but its much cooler, cuz you get to PLAY with the boat XD YAY PLAYING TIME. Hahaha, oh but it only lasts for the morning. Afternoon’s plan? Mug whole afternoon. HAHAHA I think my weekends’ plans are getting cooler by the week. Oh I really hope to get my eyes checked tmr. Think my degree is seriously 100000 degrees alr. Totally cant see a single thing on the screen during econs lecture. Sometimes maths too. I don’t want my eyes to spoil ): they’re small and ugly enough. Haiz. Hahha. Please let me change my specs soon (:

School these days is rather depressing. Haha, okay even though the retardations with my classmates continue, there are lesser fun activities alrdy. Stepped down from ODAC too so no more ODAC ): ): ): oh wells, actually come to the think of it, this year really ZOOMED past UBERLY fast. It’s already approaching August. Like what the hell. I don’t want to graduate that quickly actually. I still wanna hang out with my friends ): Im just afraid that after we graduate, we’re gonna go our own separate paths in lives. The girls might cuz we may have different agendas after As and the guys, needless to say, they got NS. Really hope we’ll always keep in contact and not treat each other like some passing cloud. Friendships are for life lah! I strongly believe that. (: it’s just sad sometimes when you cherish your friendship which you thought was so strong and yet it turns out that all was only in the name of fun.

Where’s FP? :/

Kidnap my heart, take me away. <3 <3

2009-06-29T00:45:00.000-07:00

heylo! haha, it has been VERY VERY long i can see. lol reason why i aint blogging is... i was having too much fun that i forgotten about the existence of this blog! hahaha yeah june hols was like one of the most crazy holidays i had. though i should be preparing for mid years, its like the slackest kind of mugging i've ever done in my entire schooling life. thats why im quite worried for mid years but then again, ITS ONLY MID YEARS. hahaha i really dont know if i should just mug my head off or what. confused. all i know is i cant afford to fail terribly because my parents confirm will ground me to death if they knew. yup having been going HELL LOT of days during the holidays because im usually home alone and i dont like that. i'd rather stay out alone. like at least there are other pple around you. haha oh well, i just did my best studying whatever i could and making sure i had fun at the same time so yeah. fingers kept crossed. :)

hmm gp paper today was alright i guess but you never know what would happen. oh paper 2 sucks. i totally just went into a state of concussion while doing it. dont even know what i was writing. hahaha went to have 2 piece chicken meal for lunch at KFC, its delicious, like in a thousand years i havent had it. hahaha fattening though :( hahhaa who cares lah right! hahaha hmm supposed to be studying for econs now but here i am. feel like giving up on econs cuz its like, got no motivation for it. seriously absolute zero. hahaha oh well, ultimate sianess. this is what i call, a week of doom. :)

Stacy's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Stacy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom.

loving this song right now, okay im a little slow but yeah! its nice :D

2009-06-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hello. :)

Actually got loads to post. But a little lazy to type all out. Okay who knows as this goes along, I might just type everything out. Geez. Hmm, Famine Camp 2009 was alright. Haha the games were fun, people quite nice. Guess that should suffice up to a nice camp! Hahaha, didnt really manage to make alot of friends there, guess cuz they were rather quiet. Feel quite awkward also. Like dunno how to really start a convo with them without having the "hey-im-here-to-start-a-convo-with-you" feeling. Haha, really wonder how did i even make all the friends i have for the past 18 years. Have i lost my social skills? Or has the world became so hypocritical to me that i dont wish others to think likewise of me? Pathetic meee. Hahaha, oh boy, actually i dont really know how to differentiate hypocritical and genuinity. I'm a naive person? Hahah maybe, like I'll just totally believe everything you tell me, just make sure that you LOOK sincere and truthful enough. That should get me up the hook. Hahaha lousy shit me. Should probably try and brush my skills at identifying hypocrites and hopefully, i wont end up like one in the end. Hate them. Hahaha okay, i dunno wassup with this dissenting tone but yeah. I shall voice out my true feelings. :)

Okay, got class outing tmr at sentosa. Hmmm i dunno if im feeling EXCITED but i sure dont have the looking-forward-kind of feeling. Hahah AHHHH i dunno what im feeling currently lah. im shittily confused by my own feelings. Gosh, hate this feeling. Really hate being lost. Like, i think im feeling something which im not suppose to be feeling. Hate it hate it hate it. I should just stop myself from all evil thoughts and desires. Attaining a state of nirvana, like Buddha. Hahaha, how i wish i was like him. Free from all desires and greed. Yep, why make myself so miserable by wishing for something that will never happen. Okay i guess i just started blabbering some nonsensical, no link kinda stuff here. That, is precisely what my brain is experiencing right now. Like every moment. Knowing that I should be thinking of other stuffs, but somehow, some no link shit will enter my brain and WOOHOO, a whole string of empty thoughts would surface in my brain. BRILLIANT. This, is exactly how wonderful my brain function daily. Hahaha maybe i might be going mad soon and evolve into einstein or sth. XD yeah right. HAHA.

Really glad that I still have friends whom i can talk to, like pour my "sorrows", which aint exactly saddening stuffs but yeah, things that are seriously troubling me. Actually the biggest thing that is troubling me, hasn't come out just yet. Don't know how much longer can i actually holding it back in myself because it aint exactly a good thing. I should just try and self-eradicate this BIG THING first. If not, one day, you shall see, it's soo gonna come out of me. I need someone to help me hold it back. Cant. Let. It. Out. :)

Alright, guess my post about nonsensical stuffs is long enough. Hahaha am i a genius or what, making a post so long out of nothing. Faints. Biru you seriously rock my world. HAHAHA. Hopefully this shitty feeling of mine would just go away one day. Soon. Before i lose control of it. Haha, shoo shoo SCRAMMMMMMMMMM. :P

你說把愛漸漸放下會走更遠
又何必去改變已错过的时间

2009-06-07T06:03:00.000-07:00

I Gotta Say
Tooku hanareteite mo aenakute mo
Tsuyoi kizuna wa aru kara
"Yume ga kanaimasu you ni"
Kokoro no soko kara inotteiru yo
We're friends forever
Mata au koto o chikai
Yubikirishite
Bokura wa arukidashite ne
Mienai yukisaki e to
Mayoinagara de mo
Susundeiru yo
Itsudemo

"Friends" by Stephanie :)

Feel like getting drunk tonight. HAHA. Jim Bean Cola is nice.

2009-06-03T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hey :) It's the first week of June Hols and I'm dying. Haha, quite drained because I had lessons and Physical Training continuously for 3 days. But it's alright, feeling kinda "fitter" now. Haha but hopefully I won't end up having buldging muscles. :) Fit is good, I like being fit. Oh oh! I learnt a new stroke for swimming today! Haha unofficially though, don't even know if I'm doing it correctly. It's the Backstroke :D Hahaha, feel that it's damn damn cool lah. Like you don't need to submerge your entire head in the water to swim. Hahaha. Feel quite excited about that fact X)

Anyway, gonna be gone for Famine Camp, like on Friday, 5 June 2009. I don't feel excited for it at all. :( Cuz I'll be separated from my classmates. Geez. Stupid lah, dunno how the groupings came about either. Hais. Totally just spoils my mood for it. Hopefully I can get early leave cuz I'm heading to my friend's house after that. *crosses fingers. I don't mind skipping the A-mei Concert. Lol. XD

Okay, I think I should be mugging right now (as usual) but somehow, the mugging feeling ain't there. Okay it will NEVER be there. Haha, the day Bi Ru enjoys mugging, will be the day that her eyecandy likes her back which is absolutely impossible :) Aye, eyecandies are a waste of time. Though by looking at them, they'll make you slightly happier. Okay, largely happier because they'll make you feel like smiling to yourself. Hahaha somehow. But i guess there are stronger feelings than eyecandying. Like being totally serious about them, like you really like like them and not only eyecandy them. The feeling is different, I understand now. At least, eyecandies provide the motivation for you to look forward to school everyday. Haha, oh boys. My brother just scolded his friend for being zhong se qing you which means one prioritizes lover over friends, or something like that. Haha I don't understand like why some guys can be so extreme. Some totally possessive and others, as liberal as you can ever imagine. Amazing. Haha another thing we discussed is that people usually change alot when they enter university. Like nice people turn into "bad" people and ugly people to good looking ones. Is that true? It's scary how people can change. Does it mean that they are hypocrites all these while when you first knew them? Who knows, it might be you who have changed, not them.

Okay, enough about these stuffs. Haha I guess change is really the only constant, no matter how scary it will be, it is inevitable. AHHHH why am I talking as though I'm like some serious adult. Shit, it's a sign of ageing. Haha AIYAH I JUST HOPE THAT I CAN SURVIVE FAMINE CAMP AND HAVE EARLY LEAVE LAH HUH. HAHAHA.

Just how much longer can I hold back.
I don't know. Haha.

2009-05-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hello :) Long time no blog. Haha, okay it's officially the June Hols now. Meaning, it's serious business. Mugging time. Haha. I think I've really wasted too much time during Term 1 and 2 doing meaningless stuffs. Too much time wasted alrdy. Probably this would be a good chance for me to catch up.

Feeling kind of unmovitated, sadly. Think it's probably the kind of results I'm getting back, especially for History. It's sad, so sad. I've always thought that as long as I have passion in a certain subject, I would be able to do well no matter what because I'll like it. And my sec sch teachers used to tell me that too. But now I'm seriously doubting that claim. It's like no matter how much I've tried, it doesn't seem to show in my results. Okay, probably I'm not trying hard enough and maybe I ain't studying the right way. It just seems as though I've tried whatever I could have done to improve my grades but it's just stagnant. Never improving. Hence, de-motivating me to study harder for History. Furthermore, it's like those who didn't really study and put in effort regularly, they can just score as and when they like. Like wth lah, it just sucks. This feeling. I'm not pinpointing to anybody but in general. Guess some people just have the talent or you could say, "smartness" in them huh. I never believed in talent and cleverness. I always believed my entire life that as long as you work hard enough, like put in your 101% of effort, it will definitely pay off and anybody, can be as smart as a Phd, just depending on how much effort he/she is willing to put in. Hais, alright, enough me crapping about The most pathetic subject of my life, History.

Got to attend College Day tomorrow. Haha kinda looking forward to it. Okay, probably only the dance section. LOL. Anyway, have plans to go swimming with brother tomorrow in the morning. Okay, I'm NOT swimming with him. But he's heading to the gym and for me, swimming :D okay my aim tomorrow is to hit 1 lap. At least. Hahaha okay i know this might sound supernoob to target ONE LAP, but my swimming seriously is as pathetic as my history. You can imagine. :( gotta start training for Race 7, organised by NUS ODAC. Haha quite worried though, like my mid years (which is immediately after June Hols) ain't worrying me enough. AHHHHHHHHH. Life, fascinates me. Like the way it tortures and making me enjoy at the same time. Hahaha.

Has kayaking on Sunday. Going to help out at the Kayaking Orientation Programme (KOP) as attachees. Haha quite excited for it cuz damn long never kayak already. Oh well, hopefully everything goes well. If possible, I WANNA PRACTISE MY ROLLS. Hahaha.

June Hols are in the house!

2009-05-21T06:18:00.000-07:00

Hello :)

It has been quite a while since I blogged. So yeah here I am, haha slacking again! Anyway, life has been quite okay lah. Tutorials and lectures are getting less sleepier for me and I guess that’s a good sign. It’s probably cuz I am either talking to my friends during tutorials/lectures, or I’m thought of something to motivate myself to study harder. Like my chemistry test X(

Two words for it. IT SUCKED.

Hahaha okay I think that’s the greatest extent to which I’ve sweared outrightly on my blog. Haha if you even call that swearing. Geez, I don’t believe in swearing lah, doesn’t do anything special to me leh. Hahaha but I don’t really mind people swearing around me. Really sensitive to those hokkien vulgarities though, don’t really like them cuz it always reminds me of how my parents quarreled in the past. They’ll just shoot hokkien vulgarities at each other, that’s why I don’t like the sounds of it. I prefer English ones though. It doesn’t have any effect on me lah if you have a reason to say it. Don’t like people that anyhow uses swear words, like they don’t have any better words to replace it. Think it’ll make them look cooler huh. Haha oh wells.

Going shopping tomorrow, I think, with my classmates. Haha retarded bunch of us XD hmm actually I’ve quite a lot of homework this weekend, hopefully I can chiong and finished EVERYTHING :D hahaha feeling quite motivated now after sucky chem test and a failed history test. Wheeee I love studying! Lol.

If there’s one thing for me to wish right now,
I’d wish that you could stop making me fall for you
Cause this feeling is going nowhere. blahhh.

2009-05-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

Hello. :)

It’s a Tuesday today. Haha should be doing homework and mugging real hard but guess what, hahaha 3 straight hours of slacking, since 8pm. Gosh. Feeling a little bit guilty? Haha actually had set to not do history tutorial with Jamie, but she say do a little, maybe the thesis. Blah, really don’t feel like doing any work at all. I need my motivation :( FP <3 hahaha.

Anyway, I am waiting for some ODAC proposal via email at 10.50pm. Supposed to view it and comment which I don’t think I’ll give any constructive suggestions. Feeling super super ultimate sleepy. I actually fell asleep standing on the bus today. Damn embarrassing. Oh well, hate this feeling of being sleepy cuz life shouldn’t be like that, seriously. Hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow, like much more awake and energized. Maybe a little coffee might help. Gee, but too much ain’t good. Aye, see first lah. Gotta meet kw in the morning at 7.15am. Dunno for what. :/

Really wish that the AJ volleyball team will jiayou for tomorrow’s match :) GO AJ! Haha.

The way you make my heart beat :)

2009-05-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

Muahaha due to popular demand, I’M HERE TO BLOG AGAINNNNN. Muahaha. Okay, JUST KIDDING XD actually only shurlene asked so yeah. Furthermore, im very free lah so I blog lor. Hahaha.

Labour day, WAS A FUN DAY. Ahaha, went kayaking with some ODAC peeps, mainly weesiong, TANYANYING :D, weiliang, zhengxiang, pong and minghan. Hahaha, it was considerably FUN :D I partnered yanying on doubles and kayaked from changi beach all the way to punggol point. Haha though it was quite exhausting cuz very long never go on expedition alrdy, I still enjoyed myself. We went crazy singing halfway and just talking crap. Me and yanying still had the time to do a little gossip onboard! Hahaha yep, think I don’t have sunburn, which is quite fortunate and sad. The rest all got haha oh wells, I think cuz I really really spammed sunblock like mad that’s why. Hahaha. Kayaking rocks!

Saturday, which is actually today, was rather fine. Haha stayed home with my parents. Oh I went out for breakfast and dinner (if you consider that as going out. Haha). Did quite productively today, though it’s still terribly slow but it’s faster than usual weekends I guess. Got tons and tons and tons of homework to finish. Plus! There’s still upcoming math and econs test which I totally aint got time to prepare over the weekend. Hence, the need to rush haha gotta chiong more tomorrow again. BAHHHH. Oh oh dinner was quite fun. Went to punggol beach with my parents and had like a picnic there. Hahaha we da bao-ed chicken rice! Quite relaxing lah, enjoy the evening at the beach is my fave :D I took a picture of them. Quite cute. Hahaha.

Anw, I kinda look forward to tomorrow because it’s a Sunday and I like the feeling of Sundays. Hahaha oh oh there’s X-Men: The Last Stand too! Hahaha I aint gonna miss that for nuts! Hahaha :D can’t wait for school on Monday. Haha. Til then, CIAO :D

Don't believe everything happiness says
Nothing feels better than hiding these days :)
-brother's fave song is mine too!

2009-04-25T08:38:00.001-07:00

Heyhey, it’s Saturday today. Boring day, actually got kayaking but cant go cuz next weekend also got kayaking. Got to choose one -_- in the end, I pangsehed my friends. Hais. Hate being the pangseh-er. AHHHH damn biru, you got it wrong again. Boo. This sucks to the ultimate. :(

Anyway, just stayed at home today lor. Oh but something made me very happy today! Haha that is, my brother finally came back home after 2 whole weeks! But just for today -_- he’s back at hostel now. Boo. Hahaha. Oh well, he’s mugging quite hard now, cuz his semester tests are coming up. And he keeps emphasizing the fact that university life is much more harder than jc life -_- oh wells. To think I’ve always looked forward to university life. :/

Well, last Friday was fun J school has been damn FUNNY AND RETARDED with my classmates (Jamie, Shurlene, Lynette, Jovita) :). Everyday, confirm got something to retard about one. Lol. Anyway we were discussing about going to Bangkok at the end of this year after A levels as a class :D WOOOHOOO! Cant wait man! XD I was thinking of going to Bangkok and have like an ultimate major shopping spreeeeee! Hahaha okay I may not seem like the kind who likes to shop for dresses, heels and everything BUT I love to shop okay! Hahaha aye. The problem is about $$ again. Hais, this means that… I HAVE TO CONTINUE MY SAVING SCHEME UNTIL THE END OF THIS YEAR! What the! Hahahaha. I thought I can end it early like end of May or something but.. oh wells, it’s okay. I will build up my funds one day :D and have spending scheme instead. Muahaha.

Gotta stay home tmr again. Sian. Hahaha the worse thing is, my brother’s not home anymore. I’ll be like -_- the whole day. Hahaha maybe I’ll ask my mother to bring me out or something J hopefully she’ll have a good mood tmr because right now, she is locked up in the bedroom with my father. GOSHNESS. I DON’T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE. It just, grosses me. :/ though I know it’s perfectly normal but I just feel EEEyer. Hahaha I aint want any younger sister or brother liao horh. XD hahahah okay biru getting out of hand le. Gtg now! Byeeeeeeee :D

Anyway watched Fast and Furious 4 last night. Quite cool :)

It's true,
Nothing lasts forever but love <3.

2009-04-23T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hello. Today am suppose to be rushing GP AQ right NOWWW like mad. But I aint. Woohooo! Decided to wait a little bit more before doing it. And it’s like 10.30pm now. Usually I’ll need 2 hours to complete it. Faints. Hahaha oh well, Mr Bell better better better check it tomorrow! If not I’ll, just diao him. Hahhaha. Seriously, there aint much I can do if he doesn’t check :/ oh boy. Have been feeling really really really really tired these days. Like my eyes are going to form a slit any time soon. Hahahah, they are small enough already can. Seriously. Haha. Oh well, gtg now. :D

2009-04-16T07:27:00.000-07:00

Hello. haha went to watch 17again today. QUITE NICE. haha zac efron? needless to say, damn cool and fatherly. haha he played quite a fatherly role in the movie. it just made me think alot again, like what would have happened if we all had a second chance at life? will things be the same. why do we regret the choices we make in life, and then turn to others and blame them for it. :( it's just sad that people still have regrets despite having the ability to choose. haha shouldn't we all choose sth that we won't regret choosing in the first place? haha that brings me to the point, probably we just made a mistake in deciding which is the best for us.

Was really really really touched by how much the couple in the movie loved each other, just that they didn't know how much they had loved each other once. it's kinda sad, like the lovey feeling will fade away, esp if you have alrdy dated this person for very long. personally, i believe that true love exists and it will prevail. my father once told me that love is actually more than saying: ily, hugging, kissing, etc etc. it's about accepting the other party's flaws willingly and loving them wholeheartedly. i thought alot about that, and i agreed :) as in nobody's perfect, so in order to really love someone, you gotta accept their flaws and not complain why they are so imperfect aint it? :/
oh boy, love.

Speaking of choices, did GP compre today on the topic of CHOICES. -_- hahhaha TOTALLY SCREWED IT. didn't really had the mood to really analyse the passages properly. AQ was TOTAL CRAP. summary, i didn't even count the number of words XD hahaha loser me :(
oh well, hope i can rest well over the weekends, i wanna see my brother too. i miss him :( hahaha okay that is mushy EEEEE. don't know why, always feel damn tired when taking the bus. confirm sleep de. zzzzz
Having stomach upset due to the consumption of fresh milk in the morning. gosh.

It's easier to be broken,
It's easier to hide.

2009-04-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

Family day cum 25 km run (:

haha the stayover did not turn out to be as fun as i thought it would have been because they did not allow us to have like free time to do whatever we want :( hahaha i think i just slept throughout the night? HAHA no choice lah, was feeling kinda tired and i did talked a little with my classmates but in the end, we ended up sleeping cause had to wake up at 4.20am :) it was a nice experience, like waking up so damn early in the morning just to jog :) I liked the feeling. It was, refreshing and energising XD hahaha the air in the morning is just so different, very fresh and cooling. hahaha okay over description. :D

After the jog, we went to help out at the stall which we are tending in the hall :) hahah we sold henna, face paint and phototaking. Guess that the phototaking and henna were rather HOT! Hahaha, the polariod went out of stock! Hahaha but cannot blame, because there were only 27 pieces of it, we initially thought it wouldn't be that HOT as it was kinda expensive. Hahaha seems like people are still willing to spend after all! :) The polariod thingy is cool and I'm determined to own one of those in the future, seriously shouldn't let it just disappear into or history. Hahaha the polariod film was so difficult to find! Hahaha we searched the entire AMK area and finally found a stall with it. Hahaha oh boy.

Today's family day, actually we intended to do many many many things, like buying LOADS of delicious food, taking the viking ride, watch zhanyee beatbox (which i totally missed.), go visit the haunted house and take LOADs of sweets :) and many others, hahah didn't manage to visit all of the stalls cause gotta tend our own stall first! Hahaha, glad that today's business aint that bad :) haha it was quite fun and happening today, like AJ, finally aint a mugger school! Hahaha music was blasting like nobody's business and i almost went deaf cause my stall was beside the loudspeaker! The emcee in the Hall was shouting and advertising their stall like there's no tomorrow! Hahaha seriously, kinda chaotic at times.

Hmm, realised alot about moodswings today. Like how scary they can be. Actually not that surprising because my mum does that alot but yeah, guess we all have our own. Sometimes we might not even know it ourselves. Haha, many a times, people do observe some stuffs about you, but it's up to them to see if they want to tell you. Judgements are usually made based on first impressions. That, is considered being superficial (to me at least). Well, guess we'll face even more judgements by more people in the society. People whom might even be worse than what im experiencing right now. People i meet in school are still nice and innocent? Hahaha, bet it's not the worse type of politics just yet.

The world out there, ain't a place for people to live but to survive.

Just watched
all of it fade away.

2009-04-03T20:49:00.000-07:00

Hello :) Today is saturday, april the 4th. Haha gotta go school later to stayover for the 25km relay run on sunday. Hopefully the turnout on sunday would be good! If not alot of pple would be disappointed. The school expects ALOT of pple to come actually, for the family day carnival, which i dont really think it will be. :/ Haha i did not invite alot of pple, okay 2 pple, my brother (who most slightly won't turn up) and Miang Joo. Hahah aye nowadays everybody so busy, who will come lor! Hahaha. Oh well, hope tonight would be fun :D can party all night! Ahaha.

School's rather okay these days, guess I'm already used the momentum. Like homework and everything. Though it's really mundane but okay lah, my life is liveable. :) Got a few amazing races coming up, don't know if I should join or not. The main problem is the $$ part. Hahaha, trying to save and not spend as much as possible already. But it could probably be the last adventure race i take part this year, oh well let's see how it goes :)

ODAC has been rather slack :( like because we got nothing at hand to plan or organise, we are kind of "activity-less" and bored. Hahaha really miss the times when there are official ODAC sessions and everybody is like kinda busy with something that is related to ODAC :) Mr Lim says my batch is individualistic. Well, to a certain extent i guess because not everybody is that enthusiastic about ODAC activities, especially now that there are alot of homework and mugging to do. :/ Hahaha.

Anyway I WANT TO WATCH A DARN MOVIE DAMN IT. HAHAHA. The urge is getting stronger and stronger because the main reason i wanna watch is to EAT THE POPCORNNNNN. HAHAHAA. i love popcorns. Especially Cathay one. DAMN NICEEE. GV one okay only lah because if you order the sweet one, you'll find that almost 50% of their popcorn ARE NOT COVERED WITH CARAMEL (my brother calls the sweet flavoured popcorn in GV plain, not sweet) Hahaha Cathay one is like, almost 80% covered with caramel and it is DAMN DAMN NICEEE. AHAHAHA. Okay i shall go dream about my popcorns now. HAHAHAHA.

Sad that i will miss the guides outing on the 11th or 12th. Hais, really miss you guys. :(

2009-03-30T07:55:00.000-07:00

hihi, i should consider today as emo day. firstly, the weather was totally hot and cold plus the fact that my brain keeps on thinking about stuffs which it is not suppose to be thinking right now. :/ i think i am a little crazy and kind of weird, like what most of my friends would call me. thought, just being myself. lol. so i guess im naturally weird and retarded, which is worse. haha. i didnt really cared so much about what other people think of me, because as long as im being myself, nothing else really matters. partly because i really dislike people who are hypocrites, or fakes. like they put up a show for everybody to see but deep inside, they are like a total different person. that is scary and disgusting for me. but i sort of realised im like that too. okay, a little. i usually emo quite alot. maybe when people are not around, like maybe on the bus ride home or sth. when i have my mp3 with me, emo time is here! haha. no choice lah, my emotions are too strong. just dont know how to let them out. i guess everybody have their own emo space right? haha yup emoing often lead me into reflecting upon myself and also, lead me to sleep. hahaha i'll just stare into a blank space, emo, then fall asleep. haha :)

tonight was bad. did not do much homework. guess its another of my emo nights. something else is making it worse. alright somebody. hais, i really hate myself sometimes for being so indecisive and often make decisions which i will regret. sucks to the max. i guess i really dont know what i want yet. have to learn to be more sensitive too. much more. meanwhile, think i just gotta settle my emotions first, then my homework but i dont think my emotions are gonna settle anytime soon. lol. oh boy. why do i even have feelings in the first place? @!#!$%!

If you dont know me at this point
Then I highly doubt you ever will
I really need you to give me
That unconditional love I used to feel
It's no mistaking
We're just erasing
From our hearts and minds

And I know we said let go
But I kept on hanging on
Inside I know it's over
You're really gone
It's killing me
Cause there ain't nothing
That I can do
Baby, I stay in love with you

2009-03-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

Heyhey! Today is Sunday. haha feels like any sunday i would have. really glad to find my brother in his room this morning because i admit, i did miss him a little over the week. he stays in the hostel at university, only comes back during weekends. so i glad to see and talk to him :D my brother rocks! haha he bought 1 pair of haivanas slippers for himself and got one free because there was a promotion. i actually thought he would be nice enough to give it to me for free, BUT he wants to sell it to me at 20 dollars -_- hahaha THE WORSE THING IS the slippers is the same design as his's just that different colour! -_- hahaha i was telling him, but i dont want to have couple slippers with you! then he replied, no lah, not couple slippers, SIBLING SLIPPERS. -____- hahaha lame shit! XD i didnt buy from him in the end, still waiting for him to give me :D haha no choice lah, IM REALLY BROKE NOW. so gonna be on my saving scheme for the next few months :(

ooh yeah! SAVING SCHEME IS FUN. i bought snacks like sugar biscuits, loveletter-look-a-like thingy (strawberry flavour), OH's CORNFLAKE (my fave XD) and guess thats abt it. QUITE HIONG ALREADY OKAY. hahaha these food are suppose to fill my stomach during school hours so that i wont spend so much :) hopefully. hahaha. was thinking of cooking and packing some food from home, so that i can have like proper meals and stay healthy but the problem is i only know how to cook nice omelette, french toast, and maggi mee. NONE is healthy at all -_- hahaha guess i gotta learn some tips from my mum! haha oh boy.

I've been wondering why do i have so much time for blogging and i think i shld be completing hw :/ hahaha hw like MATHS REVISION WS- which im suppose to be at worksheet 7, IM STILL AT WORKSHEET 1!! :( History essay to be completed but i have been procrastinating XD and chemical equilibra- which we are supposedly able to answer some questions, BUT me and lynette decided not to do it together! HAHAHA. im the best procrastinator around i guess :)
oh boy, just dont feel like studying and slack! oh, i just rmbed, there's econs elearning too. which i totally didnt touch. -_-

Looking forward to school tmr? guess so. dunno why, im okay with school cuz there're friends :) but im not okay with gp lessons. it's stressful and homeworkish. AHHHHHHHHH.

I stare up at the stars,
I wonder just where you are :)

2009-03-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

its been some time since i lasted posted anything. haha guess maybe it is out of exhaustion, laziness. or rather, they are all excuses. haha life has been quite kind to me thus far, school still has always been busy, stressful and quite fun. :) thanks to my class and cca. love them to the max. friends have been fun to be with. woohoo!

haha though for the past few months, it was like a rollercoaster ride (oh-so-cliche right), think my life is enriched at the very least! no matter if its heartbreaks, happy moments or moodswings, im like gaining new experience each time. learning how to cherish stuffs around me more i guess. like family, though ive been quarrelling with them quite often, ive been trying pretty hard to keep things easy and pleasant. sometimes really cant take it, things just blow up. :( really hate that feeling when everything else is tumbling down and like no one really understands what youre going through. but its okay, im strong, i'll survive :)

school, has never been on the top of my priority list. though it should be. hahaha but for now, i guess my mind just likes to drift and dream about things that are not realistic. yeah having damn weird dreams recently, but they are dreams that i'll be happy awakening to :) hahaha crazy mind of mine XD grades, to me are just numbers that matters ONLY at A lvls, so i dont really give too much thought into my grades :/ guess its kinda bad attitude huh, BUT ITS TRUE WHAT. hahaha aiyah see how first lor. just gotta hang it there and brave it through this storm. this lousy year :(

learning how to be optimistic and distracting myself has now become my hobby :) ahaha like try to find happiness even in the simpliest of things in life. though they may make me seem retarded but why not? haha life is after all, something that we shld really ought to make full use of. live happy, live life. WOOO. hahaha guess there aint anything that is devastasting to the extent of crumbling my world down thus far, alright, probably just once. but not anymore, i think. hahaha.

many retarded things have been happening in my life and im lovin' it XD it makes life more interesting lah. more fun too :) guess i shld end with this: LIFE ROCKS :D

Starbucks Oreo Cheesecake DAMN nice
i miss it, darn!

2008-05-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind

2008-04-14T06:16:00.000-07:00

HELLO HELLO. hahahah YAY just wanna come and say MAN UNITED WON ARSENAL 2-1! WOOOO. hahahhaa okay that's super random but yeah i'm happy :D
YAY there'll be an ODAC hike this saturday! guess it's gonna be fun and tiring! but anyhow, i bet i'll enjoy it. hahahah.
YAY ODAC is going to Gunung Datuk next next saturday! hahahaha followed by a malacca visit! CANT WAIT! hahahah especially til the part when we go have chicken rice and ICE KACHANG! hahahaha YAY im going to have 2 bowls of it man! hahaha unless i have 2 bowls of chicken rice instead. HAHAHA.
YAY. so many happy things coming up! :D :D

is that how it feels?

2008-03-14T06:53:00.001-07:00

HEY! haha before the holidays end, like in 2 days time, i think i should blog a little :) ahah this holiday is like okay only lah, not say very fun or what. passable. haha cuz there were days that i stayed at home ALL DAY and do homework. -_- please dont get me wrong, im not a mugger. haha yes, i did stay at home all day to do homework but it was SUPER unproductive. my days at home were like that actually: wake up, eat breakfast, watch ellen, watch tyra, go to the mall opposite my house and buy my lunch home, eat lunch, watch martha, do homework, watch ellen at 5 again, watch tyra, watch some 7pm show (either channel 5 or 8), watch some 8pm show (usually channel 8) and study for one hour, watch the 10pm channel 5 show and then study for another final hour. after which, i go to bed. HAHA so you can see that i keep my television practically ON for the whole day. someone bless the electricity bill this month :X HAHA I LOVE TVING :D

okay i think im like a real life potato couch. :( hahaha but the shows are nice okay! especially ellen, she is darn funny :D haha. makes me happy. haha okay, so at the rate i was going, i still got my GP and chem UNTOUCHED. hahaha i'll try to finish it during this weekend, cuz i got like GP tutorials first thing on monday. URGH. oh, haha im quite familiar with the timings of shows now, especially on channel 5. haha, there's shark tale this sunday! MUST CATCH. HAHA okay im like crazy over tv. gosh. i should probably get a life or something. haha okay, i gtg watch supernatural now! it's damn nice :D

感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影
所以才能变成你的背影

2008-02-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

haha before my brother comes and bug me for the computer again, i must say these things! :D

HAPPY THINKING DAY TO ALL GUIDES AND SCOUTS! YAY IT'S THINKING DAY! :D

AJ ORIENTATION2 ROCKS, BEHANZIN ROCKS, IBOS AKA EYE BALLS ROCKS :D haha today was the finale for orientation 2. we had something like a gangshow in the hall and we jumped and jumped! hahah sweat like mad. YAY HIGH HIGH INTO THE SKY! :D

我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌我也和你一样
曾经年少轻狂受了一点伤
我们都是一样相信永远不远
但坚持却有点难

2008-02-05T02:25:00.000-08:00

HAHA this is really random but i thought i should post this picture because, it is his birthday today! AND! you cant deny it, he's good (:

picture from wikipedia

2008-01-28T07:27:00.000-08:00

我们是永远充满爱的
鸽子 !

.
tell me,
what do you do with friendship after love is found?
i dont think throwing it away is a good move.

2008-01-11T05:28:00.000-08:00

HELLO. haha like everyone who blogged, im going to talk about school! haha. orientation was okay, i mean we did play some crazy games and all but i guess my OG just wasnt very united? haha but anyway we've had our fun so yeah. made many friends too. haha crazy ones and the more normal ones. haha i met my primary school friend there! haha she's as crazy as ever, quite glad to have her there (: hmmm OH! ORIENTATION ENDED WITH A CAMPFIRE :D :D hahaha the fire was like super big and nice, it gave off a smell that campfires always have. the smell that i missed so much. haha even though they lighted the campfire for only a while, like around 30 mins cuz it was suppose to be wet weather but the atmosphere was definitely different after the rain has stopped and with the fire going and all. (: HAHA while the fire burnt, we had our mass dance and couple dance at AJ square. quite funny because there was nobody to show us the dance steps and most of us, or at least, for me, im VERY lost. HAHA cuz i cant really rmb the dance but i had fun forgetting them. hahaha did very stupid actions instead of the dance steps. (:

HMMMM most of the people i know, they are currently either very crazy over their group member or OGL. these people are, all i can say, hopelessly in love. HAHA. my ears are going to be blocked one day from excessive listening to what happened between them and their eyecandieS. tsk tsk, too much candy is bad for teeth girls! haha.

for you,

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

2007-12-25T04:27:00.000-08:00

HOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS!
to be honest, it's quite sad to be spending christmas night at home, blogging. HAHA but i have no activities so yeah here i am. anyway 2007 is coming to an end! so fast cant believe it. haha and last sunday was my last day of work. ): ): yeah my job is done. there are many memories to be kept close to my heart, after all it's my FIRST job. (: really great and grateful to get this job, nice colleagues, nice managers (actually not all haha) and nice food! (:

OKAY let me intro my job! i work as a waitress at Goodwood Park Hotel (: for banquets and events such as weddings and dinner and dance. yeah i serve them, like you know bring the food out to the ballroom and put it on their table and yeah, do my service. HAHA i've learnt how to cut a fish properly! as in proportion it out etc. i serve the guests drinks too. haha and there'll be like the work that many people hate such as doing cocktail. it's like the time before the event starts and everyone starts to gather outside the ballroom. pple doing cocktail will have to carry glasses of drinks on a tray and hold it for like 30mins okay! HAHA can train arm power de. HAHA there was once when i had to ask for a drink from the bar and i told the barguy: can i have a cup of coke? and he replied: it's a glass of coke not cup lah you think here kopitiam ah? HAHA super maluating okay. gosh.

haha there were many maluating memories too like once, i spilled FISH SAUCE on a Father's lap! you know like the Father in the church that kind of father not like daddy. HAHA damn malu and another time i spilled VEGETABLE SAUCE on one of the guest's lap! OMG. haha ohwell this shows how clumsy i can be. ): anyway talking about colleagues now, most of them are from China and when they speak, they'll have the china accent. at first i couldnt get used to it but eventually, i can! HAHA. they are very nice pple! seriously, haha. (: i miss them. ):

haha yanyi, margaret, chaili and i gave the managers names! haha so that when we talk about them, they wouldnt know! haha names such as Panda, Goldfish, Pufferfish, Gorilla, Father (cuz he likes to talk alot and speaks very slowly) , Rabbit and Hippo! HAHA all the animals' names! (: actually most of them are nice and funny but during the banquets, when everything is so jing zhang and tensed, they will shout at you or something if you do something wrong. but in the end, we all know that they cant really help it. so yeah. :D
OH MAN I'LL MISS WORK QUITE TERRIBLY.

cant believe that school is starting soon! i dont mind working for another month and not study cuz i prefer work much more to study. SERIOUSLY. okay, i should like get my mood back to books? i dont know actually i kinda dread the day when we'll receive olevels results. i just have a bad feeling. choi ah. AH.

And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."

2007-11-26T02:53:00.000-08:00

HAHA i was blogging like what, 2 huge meaty paragraphs about my life after olevels and the whole comp just turned BLANK. OH gosh, i'm not going to retype lah. stupid comp. URGHHHH.

okay anyway talking about my life now, i have been staying at home, playing Sims 2 which i have brought! (: reading harry potter, watching tv, using the comp, and going out! yay, cant really shop cuz i'm broke. yeah biru is always broke. HAHA but! i have found a job! WOOO. hope i can earn alot, and SPEND ALOT. haha wonder when the day will ever come boo. everybody must spend mah! like my brother always say," you have to spend and boost the economy!" (psst he got A for his econs so i guess it's quite reliable?) oh well. CANT WAIT TO WORK seriously. everybody is like going overseas, japan, korea, hongkong, taiwan, thailand etc etc. but im like stuck in this red dot. goodness. oh well nvm. hope everybody is enjoying their holidays now! tada!

2007-11-05T18:35:00.000-08:00

hell o! OH MY GOODNESS. almost all the important papers are downnnnn! cannot believe it! haha. even though there are still 2 MCQ papers left before the freaking olevels enddd, i dont think i'd bet so much on my sciences cuz i have always been getting c6 c5? haha yeah. sorry ms chng, mrs yeo. wo jing li le. oh well, the papers were initially okay but when it gets to the humanities papers, i've got to say, i just totally freaking disappointed myself. haiyah, shant think so much about it. what's done is done. now we are getting ready for the PAE. gosh im so confused. but i guess i alrdy have a jc that i have decided to go. i dont think i can get far with my humanities, sciences and english pulling me down. whatever. seriously, i dont hope to get 6, 7 or 8. just a score that can get me to a decent jc. (:

ANYWAY, there's sooooooo much to do after olevels. play eat go out sleep use comp(which i am alrdy doing so even though its not totally over) shopp watch tv EXERCISE! yeah i need loads of it. been getting real flabby these days. HAHA i cant wait for heroes to be shown on tv and gong zhu xiao mei's dvd to come out! yay. i think i will become a couch potato (: but i dont mind! btw the Bee Movie looks nice. maybe it's worth a watch. haha and there is also the sequel to National Treasure! bet it is as exciting as NT! with nicholas cage etc. (X okay i sound like some movie critic. "i give National Treasure 5 popcorns!" okay shant blabber on. anw, antm rocks! (:
i miss camp christine.

when our time is up,
do we always say we've tried?

2007-10-10T03:44:00.000-07:00

haha i was studying the notes given to me when i was a sec 3 and i coincidentally came across this drawing that i did during amaths. yeah indeed, this was written on the very day of the Showdown Of Superheroes. well now, 10 october 2007, my drawing and handwriting remained as bad but some things just dont last for a lifetime. it is the moment that we should treasure. i remembered very clearly that it rained everyday for the whole week. seriously, monday tuesday wednesday and thursday. i was praying very hard for it not to rain but i had little faith cuz the odds were very small. the weather was okay for the afternoon and everything can be set up and it was quite sunny. we were very glad. when the campfire started, the weather was fine. however, halfway through, the skies began to turn orangy-red and thunder could be heard. i panicked. immediately, every dept began to prepare for the wet weather plan as it really looked as if it was going to rain any moment. in the end, it did not rain at all. not even a single bit of droplet fell from the clouds.

there are a lot of things that happened in Cedar to reminisce about. it is just impossible for me to list down everything. Guides is my passion & this, will remain as a fact. It is quite unbelievable that it is grad day tmr. i dont know what is the feeling like of not being a Cedarian & i dont wish to know. But guess what? some things just dont last forever.

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end;
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

do you even know,
how much i've missed you so.

2007-09-21T05:53:00.000-07:00

只好让礼物安静躺在我口袋
宁愿看著你跟他快乐聊到笑开 YEAH～
当用情两字不足形容我情感
心情都随你转弯
而其他情景问我耳朵爱情都听不完
适合我们的从不是浪漫
你不会爱我的爱我明白
你的最爱那一块哪天我才存在
我不会爱你的爱受伤害
所以宁愿安静的等待

只剩下冰冷空气陪我一整晚
寂寞却多到塞车根本无法动弹 YEAH～
一翻身我在半夜突然就醒来
梦里你的唇柔软
而其他情景问我耳朵爱情都听不完
适合我们的从不是浪漫
你不会爱我的爱我明白
你的最爱那一块哪天我才存在
我不会爱你的爱受伤害
所以宁愿安静的等待WO～
爱你我慢不下来
没有哪一天例外
愿自己比快我会赶上你未来 HO～
你不会爱我的爱我明白
你的最爱那一块哪天我才存在
我不会爱你的爱受伤害
所以宁愿安静的等待不怕空白

2007-09-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

It is O-V-E-R OVER O O OVER! :D well, not exactly over but yeah semi-over! haha okay i did sort of celebrate after getting liberated! haha went to k with usual guides k buddies yet again (: anyway, we met the muggers of 4/s there! haha, and when we went to say hi, they were singing zhang shao han songs so yeah well done! haha. i was really shocked though. actually i was shocked not only once today but twice, my first shock came from charis toh who did something really WOAH after the prelims. haha i think she's really feeling quite stressed. haha but it looks ok. (:

haha anw something very interesting happened at my balcony last weekend. it was a wonderful morning which is like 10 plus and i just woke up, watching tv. haha my mum was there too. everything was so peaceful and suddenly, there was this loud "thud" sound. my mum looked over to the balcony and said,' ee, there's a bird that flew, knocked onto the balcony door and it's dead.' immediately, i looked there was this black colour medium sized bird lying on the blacony floor lah! it was still breathing not dead -_- i think it sort of fainted but it was panting real hard. haha and the next thing that the bird did: it pee-ed. as in, it's unconscious yet it can pee. wth lah. haha. actually i was thinking perhaps this bird had an injured wing and i can take care of it. haha cuz it's really cute. sadly, we left it alone and it flew away. oh well. that's the first time something like that happened to me so yeah. haha (:

2007-08-29T04:33:00.001-07:00

haha okay i know i should not be here & i should be mugging somewhere in my room BUT i have had enough. i'm sick of the look of the walls in my room and most importantly, all the words on the textbooks! okay i think i sound very stressed but i'm not. if i am, i wouldnt be here. haha i'll be mugging real hard. after all, i dont really care anymore. after what the english paper had done to me. i'm prepared for the worst. haha jiayou sec fours! anyway dont ever be like me. heh (:

migraines.
my grains.
my grades.
hais,

2007-08-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

screwed.

我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

2007-08-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

haha okay this may be a record, it has been a while since i last blogged on 2 consecutive days! haha okay, had ndp at sch today (: it rocked, as usual. haha it was certainly very different being a normal citizen! as in no duties and stuff. haha felt very relaxed and yeah, just like any other normal cedarian. oh anw! i didnt manage to finish the batteries i bought! haha but i took like around 20 pics and 6 videos? haha. it was fun, finally being able to sit with my class (or rather 1/4 of it) and enjoy community singing! & for once, i didnt abandon my niang zi! haha. (:

community singing was super freaking unbelievably HIGH. haha, i think the whole school was like jumping and i think probably the wooden flooring has cracked (esp the spot that i jumped on). oops choy. oh anyway it kind of reminded me of campfire. heh like another private indoor mini "disco". just that there was no fire and we aint singing any cf songs. okay, we got so high that almost all the sec4s came out the air-conditioned mph with perspiring foreheads. haha. oh anyway, the ndp videos rock. (:

after the ndp prog, i went to k and i saw tracy foo, tsuwie and diwu! haha they can be faster lah. i thought we were very fast alrdy and we'll definitely not see any cedarians there. but! we saw them there. haha they were like just next door and all changed out of the red and white attire le. darn fast lah! haha. it's quite cool actually. imagine your whole class go k together. haha. (: alright then, shall end here.

happy national day to all (:

And find the strength to take that step of faith.

2007-08-07T07:40:00.000-07:00

As they become precious memories
They'll be kept close to my heart

hello. okay, it's our school's ndp tmr. it's different this year. i dont know, just felt kind of ndp-sick. ahah hope i can help take some nice pictures tmr. i specially bought 4 AA batteries so that it will last the whole morning. furthermore, it's the better quality ones, energizer! haha super ex can! but it is definitely worth the price. haha, oh well.

bombom bombom bom bom bom,

2007-08-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

hello. haha today was a high day cuz i went to ecp today! :D but i didnt get tanned. :( i dont know why but i have this feeling that im becoming fairer and fairer which i dont want it to happen! haha. ok i think im thinking too much. anyway went ecp to rollerblade, haha saw mr moon there and it got zhiyin into madness state. haha! its super crazy lah. haha and we saw jessica's most-hated-bert there too. super disgusting! dont even know why do these kind of pple even exist on earth. yuck.

yup, went to eat kenny rogers too. haha i love the ambience there! the music they play is also very nice! we sang along to almost every song, excluding jessica cuz she was half-listening to her mp3 and half doing english. haha. it was quite unproductive. okay, it is unproductive. haha cuz we only spent one hr doing hw there and after which we went to emo along the borders of ecp. haha the wind was very shuang ytd. actually we wanted to sit on the rocks by the sea but the waves are so strong that it kept on splashing our faces and clothes. haha. it was high tide ytd. (:

haha after we have emo-ed enough, we decided to go home through the dont-know-what-marina-promenade tunnel thing. haha and we ended up at blk 76 marine parade and i dont even know where the hell is that in Singapore. haha but we didnt get lost lah. haha i took 43 home, it was like an hour's ride. so i half slept half stoned on the bus. haha zhiyin slept too! (: okay, i cant wait the next outing when we can finally go cycle! & teach anger also. haha. (: it was a nice day.

Little boys that talk too much

2007-07-21T22:08:00.000-07:00

heyhey! going out to study later. hm dont know if i'll really study not. haha even my brother doesnt believe me. when i told him i'm going out, to study, he's like, "hahaha. study? hahaha" what's his problem lah! haha i'm so jealous of him ok. he's like practically slacking even though he's serving NS cuz he's a mess boy (i think most of you dont know what's that) i think he does all the serving of drinks to the officers etc when they go to the "canteen" and "happy hour" haha. ooh yeah and after his NS (which is to me 2 yrs of holiday cuz he dont need to study), he has another 7 months before he goes to U. wth lah! what about me man, after like what, 1 yr of mugging, i only get to enjoy 2 months of holiday, or even lesser than that. urgh. ok i dont know why am i talking about him suddenly. let me stop this disgusting topic.

oh yeah, stayed back last fri cuz of NDP rehearsal. i swear! i stayed back not because i want to kay po or what. i just wish to relive the NDP memories. (: even though this yr's NDP will be different, but it still rocks. go timers! haha. i still love the beat of the drum. oh and before that, i had physics SPA. haha it was really funny cuz during the physics SPA, i can hear this music. i think its dance, and it goes like this," tengnalei...tengnalei" hahaha. even fathiyah and pamela, who was having chem remedial in the TMP, can hear it. haha. gone crazy for the later part of the NDP rehearsal cuz the school was kind of quiet except for the NDP pple. just like another guides session on fri. the feeling of staying back til the sun sets. (:

I got this icebox
where my heart used to be

2007-07-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA. my comp is okay already! HAHAHA. oh okay, i really miss my comp ): ohwell. anyway, i went off slacking and watched harry potter yesterday. haha. it's okay lah. but i'd prefer the book. heh. oh there's this scene that harry has to kiss cho chang for like what, 30 secs? haha and i heard from my friend that they had to NG 30 times. haha ok so if you do your maths, you'll know how sian they can get kissing each other. :X oh i saw the red cross people at j8 too. haha i went to watch with my primary sch friends and one of them is like 170m tall ._. yeah aiyah but i think i have stopped growing like last yr alrdy. hais.

oh man there's listening compre on monday! shooots. better go dig my ears, or not. hm. i scared i'll fall asleep cuz during the last two practices our lao shi gave us in class, i fell asleep halfway and i didnt manage to get the answer. goodness. especially the chinese orchestra music that they'll play before the exam. from what i've heard, it's super long. yawns. ah! i cant wait to get it over and done with. then we can continue watching the movie during chinese class. haha okay. that movie is quite er, touching? haha but i kinda like the plot. at least there's some depth to it. oh and not forgetting, the "du hou gan" that we have to write after watching. -_-

it's been 8 days. wonder how i survived. haha. every now and then, when i have nothing to do, or nothing to think about, i'll just unknowingly think of the fact that i'm not a guide anymore and that i wont be needed to attend guides meetings or to care about any announcements made regarding guides stuff. haha but my ears still prick or "stand up" (like how rabbits and hamsters do when they hear something they're interested in) whenever i hear the term "guides". haha goodness. probably it's really time to let go. trying very hard though. i still wanna experience everything i have experienced as a guide once again. can i? no. since when have i fallen in love with guides? i have no idea.

It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

2007-06-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

hey ahha its been a long time since i last blogged. so i thought of coming and post something since there's no school tmr (: yeah just had NCO. it was a memorable one i shall say. besides the one that i had experienced last year. even though its not a stayover night camp, i'm really glad that we've enjoyed all the times we had during the camp. even though the number of campers is real pathetic, haha but heck it cuz we had fun. (X we did our billy manja after the camp, once again. probably the last? hope not. haha. and yay, we finally managed to pitch a tent by ourselves without committing any serious mistakes. heh ooh but the real challenge is on saturday itself. we can once again see the mango tree at the campsite, hah hopefully mr mail will help us get some. haha. jiayou bah everybody :D how can i forget, i still love guides.

anw talking about holidays. ooh think probably this is the time where we really must grab the opportunity to really mug hard eh? guess what? haha its alrdy the second week of the holidays. goodness. time can pass faster lah. i totally slacked for yesterday and today. !!! feel like killing myself. hais, i can almost faint instantaneously when i touch the physics hols hw. it is that fatal. feel like giving up hope on physics. feel like giving up hope on a lot of things, so many problems, so many unfortunate events happening. shooot you man. aye dont feel like brushing my teeth, dont feel like sleeping. i dont want to let time slip through my fingers just like that. tick tock tick tock, there goes the olevels time bomb.

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are but I
I'm with you, I'm with you.

2007-04-26T04:24:00.000-07:00

HAHA tmr is the english exam! & im online! woohoo. goodness im very slack today. (: (: (:
seriously cannot believe that tmr is the exam! urgh. no exam feeling though. JIAYOU SEC FOURS.

the manito game begins.

2007-04-22T00:44:00.000-07:00

this is a mug for muggers. (:

hello ok this is my first time touching my computer after 2 weeks. and guess i've got when i checked my mail, 72 unread msgs. hahah. ok i sound like a mugger that dont use the comp at all. but im not even if i'm, im a cupper not mugger. haha. yeah had sports day last friday. i practically stood in the sun for the whole morning. haa but its worth it though, cheering for the people running. even tho rose didnt win, but i guess my class did bonded a little yeah? haha my class and 4M did put in alot of effort. thanks eh. i liked our mascots, especially the mogu cum lady bug "costume" haha. actually it suits yanyi alot but she dont want to put it on. haha.

i really cheered and that kind of cheering is one that i have not done in years. i miss cheering my lungs out. usually only do that kind of cheering during campfires at other schools. but now, ah boy. i miss campfires. seriously. urgh. anw i went to do CIP after sports day and it was ok. just that i felt super hungry and weak after sports day but luckily, a can of coke, a bowl of fishball noodles and 3 slices of starfruits perked me up a little. (: actually i wanted to have another packet of starfruits but angela gave me a face like *woah dont you think you have alrdy eaten alot* kind of face that made me not buy another packet. haha.

well, nowadays pple are getting sick. because of the stupid weird funneh ambiguous strange weather. so hot in the morning and chilling cold in the late afternoon. just like now, its abt 4pm and its going to rain. can you believe it. haha its so hot just now in the morning lah. so yeah take care pple. esp sec4s midyears coming soon. not to stress you all but yeah. just to update you all. (: jiayou for midyears man! its only the beginning of a trip down a haunted house. haha ok no link. bye! til then, rmb to mug -_-"

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey if you stay I'll be forgiving

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

2007-04-08T01:27:00.000-07:00

heyheyhey! haha it's been long since i have used that. (: yup yesterday was our SOS campfire one year anniversary. heh time really flies. oh well, kind of sweet to see all the secfour guides reminiscing. the end of cedar guides tradition. everything will collaspe soon, just a matter of time. they dont understand what guides are suppose to be like.

not like tofu wobbling in air-conditioned room. not like bims shrieking at the sight of every disgusting thing. not like pple complaining just because they have a tinny winny mosquito bite. ok well, maybe guides are suppose to be like that. i dont know how are the original guides like. but i dont think they like what i have described above. after all they are from britain, the united kingdom. where pple fight and learn how to be independent. cool.

ok anw, i went to watch the phantom of the opera yesterday! it was fabulous magnificento excellento greato! i know this may sound a little weird but i felt as if my soul is satisfied and nourished! haha i felt so arty and literaturish yesterday night when the show ended. the show is really nice. very touching. what nice voices they have. nice songs, nice plot. furthermore, its the first time i know the actual story. i was actually afraid that i may not understand what are they singing but it turned out fine. no it turned out GREAT. haha. (: nice nice nice.

there's this ticket selling at 50 dollars, student price. haha may want to watch again. ok im crazy.

btw their orchestra/band rocks! coordination was wow. i bet the props and costumes cost big bucks. tsk tsk. haiyah ok, i shld return to reality. study study study. oh goodness.

In sleep he sang to me

In dreams he came

That voice which calls to me

And speaks my name

And do I dream again?

For now I find

The phantom of the opera is there,

Inside my mind

2007-03-30T04:47:00.001-07:00

hello! haha ok my stupid itunes. they're not working. haha think my computer is sick. can you believe it, when i reinstalled itunes, they say that there's internal failure. what the. haha ohwell. dont really care.

haha xiuxian is totally crazy over dbsk. haha she kept on telling me abt jae jung. as usual. haha i finally know how to write yunho name in korean! (: haha ok but i dont really siao him. :X and there's this mysterious person that kept on writing abt dbsk stuff on the papers that were on our table. haha. wo~ xiuxian got her fellow dbsk fangirl! haha.

ang anger is super crazy. haha zhe bu zhong yao, zhong yao de shi... MUAHA. ok i still find it amusing and i finally watched until the ba xian guo hai part. haha and the zhen zhu nai cha part. HAHA. darn funny lah. goodness. haha super cold too. :D

oh anyway had phototaking. haha bet my hair was screwed. aiyah heck care lah didnt really have the mood to take picture then. dont know why felt kind of emo. haha this afternoon's weather is perfect for emo-ing man. urgh. haha im currently listening to this song called di jiu ye by cocolee. its quite nice. (:

ahha going to watch phantom of the opera. haha it's like a dream to me. i cant believe im watching. hm first time going to this kind high class play. :X bet i'll malu myself. gooness. hope they allow me to take photos :/ haha. anyway ms lizah was telling us that we shld start studying history for mid years. MUAHAHA. i havent even started on doing the notes & i just realised that there's alot of things to memorise. ze me ban. :(

haha realised "many girl" (quoted from a teacher) are emo-ing. esp those very stressed. hais. kind of sad to see them like that. ohwell. after all im not some clown to cheer them up. jiayou bah sec fours. we can do it. urgh. &^$^@#$^!^&$$%!@#!@$